Thursday, July 24, 2008

What am I living for?

During my high school days, this question was easy to answer - basketball. My world revolved around the orange ball in a similar way the earth revolved around the sun or so it seemed. I was always looking to the next game and driven to use my time to improve. Regardless of how the season went, it always eventually came to an end, which resulted in a bit of depression. What was I to do? Like the old song says, "All that I had been living for was gone..."

Eventually, I'd let that go and concentrate on the season that was to come. This process worked fine until my freshman year in college when I hurt my knee. I wouldn't surrender yet though as I rehabbed and made plans to play again.

Finally after a year of struggles, I let go and realized my days in uniform were done. Now 12 years later it's much easier to see though basketball taught me a lot, brought joy and created great memories it's not what I am to live for.

Though it can be easy to see the wrong answers to the question, "What am I living for?" as I look back in my life I wonder, "how am I answering that today?"

It's easy to say the right answer, but when I really look am I living it? It can be easy to get caught up in living my life for my kids - don't get me wrong, investing in those given to me is critical, but ultimately that can't be what or should I say who, I am living for. It's just as easy to get caught up in the dreams we have or the ministry we lead - pouring our self in to working for God.

But, just as my basketball days came to an end - one day my kids will grow up, my dream will come true or die, and I realize new leadership keeps ministries alive. One day all that I am doing will come to a close and when it does, "will all I'm living for be gone?"

I hope not and I really don't think that will be the case. Back in high school when we lost the final game, that is how it felt, I really didn't know what could take it's place, but now things have changed.

As I've come to know Christ and my faith grows, I realize it's not the things, dreams or even the people I'm living for - it's God. Yes, He wants me to do things, He even has dreams for me and people I need to touch for Him, but what I'm living for is Him.

So even though buzzers blow and cause the game to end, all I'm living for will never be gone!!


  1. Hey, Jill!
    Thanks for visiting my post the other day. I love your words of wisdom, my friend!

    I agree with you on today's post. We pour so much of ourselves into our husbands, children, family, friends, and church. As long as we have a tight grip on HIM, we will be just fine when that next season comes rolling around.

    I read some of your previous posts as well. Awesome insights. Thank you for sharing what God has laid upon your heart.

    Have a wondrful day!!

  2. Such an insightful thought. Truly.

    The neat thing, though, about being a truly devoted and focused individual is that you have the capacity to transfer it all over to Jesus, making it possible to love him with all your heart, soul and might. The challenge for me is that I've always been a hodge-podge person, dipping my hand in a hundred different things at once. It has made my ability to pour my whole heart and soul into anything quite a challenge.

    I think your trait is so admirable, though I'm sure it is a challenge too. Most of our strengths can be a weakness too, can't they? Rambling. Anyway, this really got me to thinking, and I'm so thankful for your opening up your heart.