This desire has grown stronger the last few days as my mentor, whom I’d rather call my spiritual mom, and I have crossed paths once again. Leanne has been someone I’ve looked up to, respected, laughed with and cried with, but thru the years she has been someone I have learned from. The lessons include parenting tips, marriage advice and everything in between, but the key to our relationship is our faith.
As our friendship has grown, we have grown closer to one another, but more importantly we have each grown closer to God. Leanne’s honesty, humble heart, listening ear, unconditional love and shared faith have helped me grow. Because of the things she has shared I am a better mom, a more loving wife, a real friend and a child who wants to obey my heavenly Father.
Granted others have impacted me as well, but it’s Leanne who is that soul-mate or kindred spirit. Never in my life did I think I could possibly be friends with someone who graduated the year I was born, and I was right, we’re not just friends, I consider her my best friends.
Though we do share a friendship that is honest and real there are moments when she is more than a friend. Moments when she’s more like my mom than my friend, but that’s OK because then I can ask the questions I’m afraid to ask and get advice from the steps she’s already taken.
We’ve experienced that aspect of our friendship numerous times, but none of those experiences have been as critical as the events of the past few days. This past Saturday I experienced a miscarriage and the pain and emotions are unreal, there aren’t words to describe the emptiness and loss.
It is hard, it hurts, I don’t understand, I cry, my body aches, every once in awhile I feel OK, but then I feel bad for not feeling bad – it’s truly an up and down experience. Definitely a walk I couldn’t go alone. I have been blessed with prayers and words from many especially Leanne.
She has walked this road, she understands the pain, the mixed emotions and has advice to share from her experience. With her I can cry and even just be quiet, but I can also share what hurts and what I don’t understand. I can ask questions others might think are weird or even gross, but she listens. She encourages me when I’m down and reminds me of what I have, she adjusts my focus when circumstances overwhelm, life consumes and the pain shatters my perspective.
Though the days have been dark, Leanne shines light in my life. The light is never her own, but when it seems all is lost, she reminds me of what I still have – 3 wonderful children and hope that comes from Christ. A gift I will never lose, something that holds me up when I just want to fall down.
And I thank God for that gift He’s given and for Leanne and all the special people in my life who remind me of Him and strengthen my faith in Him.
In honor of Leanne and all you spiritual moms -
“I Saw Jesus”
His eyes, His eyes welcomed with peace and love.
He cared when no one else seemed to notice.
He listened while everyone else continued to talk.
His arms embraced when others were too busy.
He was honest while the world tried to pretend.
He felt my pain when others didn’t know I was hurt.
He loved me as family because God is our Father.
His eyes, His eyes welcomed with peace and love.
He cared when no one else seemed to notice.
He listened while everyone else continued to talk.
His arms embraced when others were too busy.
He was honest while the world tried to pretend.
He felt my pain when others didn’t know I was hurt.
He loved me as family because God is our Father.
I saw Jesus…when I saw you.
6 comments:
Jill,
Thank you for sharing your heart today AT THE WELL. And what a blessing to me that you are sharing your story of your "spiritual mom" in this time of difficulty. No doubt God brought you together for a time such as this. Thank you for striving to be more like the Titus 2 woman! -Blessings, Laurie
Oh, Jill! I am so sorry. My heart breaks that your little one was born into Heaven rather than into your arms. I know that heartache well, my friend. God bless you and I pray that soon the pain dulls for you, honey.
Thank you for visiting my blog and the beautiful comments that you left. Please accept my sympathy at your recent heartbreak. We know God is in control at all times, but this is truly something to walk through - step by step. What a blessing and comfort that your friend sent from God must be to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. A verse that helped me greatly was found in II Corinthians 1:3,4 - Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Love and blessings to you.
Oh, Dear one. I am so sorry. Words fail at times like these. I wish I could put my arms around you. Now I understand why those words in Lysa's book spoke to you. Resurrection will come. I'm so so sorry for the hurt you are going through. Just take it one day at a time, dearest. Let Him be your provision. Daily Manna. Let Him hold you through this.
Love,
Laura
Isn't God's timing of what we're reading in Lysa's book just amazing? He has prepared you for this. In Beth Moore's dvd study, "He Is" one part really struck me. She was talking about no matter what to keep walking with God and used her girls as an example. She told of how the girls would sit on her feet and wrap themselves around her leg and where she would walk, they would go.
"Dwell in the shadow of the Almighty. Keep moving. Hold on to the leg of God. Then people will look at your life and say 'I thought He wasn't, but I believe HE IS!'"
May you walk through this time wrapped around His leg Jill. Your testimony of His greatness has just been added to in a way no mother would ever ask for. Embrace it. All of it and let His glory shine.
Love ya,
Lelia
Beautiful post which is rich with emotion. Your vulnerability is evident, but at the same time, your faith is evident. Love that you have someone who can walk with you during the difficult times.
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