The Dreamgiver

After a week away from Lelia's study on Lysa TerKeurst's book, "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith" I am back. As we've journeyed thru this book, I have felt like I am living each chapter out and that continues to be even more true today. This week we are looking at chapters 18 and 19, and it's true trusting God takes us to amazing places.

Some of you are aware of the struggles we have encountered in the last 10 days and I'm grateful for your kind words and prayers. I have a new appreciation for my wonderful circle of friends that surround me in living color and those of you I have come to know in bloggy land. God has worked thru you to encourage me and keep my focus on Him when it would have been easy to doubt, question and turn away. So with that said, I'll continue on...

Lysa's words always leave an impression but this comment went straight to my heart, "There is no way to interpret this event in a way she can comprehend, but tell her I love her, and that she will understand. Isn't God amazing? Yes, indeed, God is good. Even when I can't understand His timing and His ways, I do fully understand His love and that is enough." I will never comprehend our miscarriage, but yet I am aware of His love, what a blessing!

She also spoke about ministry and said, "Ministry that makes the biggest impact...is the hard stuff that is void of glory but full of guts." Again, that's where I am at. Two years ago, God put it on my heart to write a book about spiritual mentoring, I doubted I could, but finally submitted and last Christmas I finished the book. Then I had the struggle of Him moving me forward, but me doubting I could publish a book. I realize I can't, but worries about putting myself out there and wondering what the world (my family) will think made me want to think that even God couldn't.

Eventually I realized I had to submit and send this off and see if He could really do it, almost hoping He couldn't. Well last week after a conversation with someone, I finally realized we were at two different places with our faith and I couldn't let her thoughts hold me back from obeying God. God had convinced me I was going to do this. At the time that was a nice thought, it felt good to finally say, "OK God this is yours, do what you want." But at the same time, I still didn't know if things would progress.

Well, today I came home from a Dr.'s appointment that told me the miscarriage was complete, I had a message from a publisher. Honestly I was shocked to hear her say they were excited about the possibilities of my book. Lysa's words about lack of qualification came rushing to my mind, but then came words from chapter 19, "regardless of where you are today, God is with you." What a comforting thought!

I have no idea how this will unfold, but realize "walking closely with God gives us a more keen insight of our desperate need for Him." The events of the last 10 days have solidified the importance of my faith and desperate need for Him and have given me more reason to believe in who is and trust what He says. Thoughts of what lie ahead scare me a bit, but reflections from the past prove He has never disappointed me. I trust God will bring dreams to life, maybe they aren't the ones I had as a child, but the thought of achieving His dreams is an honor.