Saturday, August 16, 2008


Sometimes it's hard...
Sometimes I cry...
Sometimes I don't know why...
But, then I lift my head,
I lift my eyes and
I lift my heart.
I see You, Lord -
the Creator of all things
and my Immanuel.
Life doesn't get easier,
the tears still fall and
I still don't understand.
But, I see Your promises,
I trust in Your plan
and I rest in Your peace.

Sometimes it's hard - a time I can relate to at this exact moment...resting in His peace, the very thing I'm doing at this exact moment.

After a Dr.'s appointment yesterday that only revealed more questions without answers and worries about the unknown my mind has been busy. As I think about the what if's and anxiously wait for Tuesday when the next tests are scheduled, I am constantly reminding myself not to worry. Rather than conversing with myself, I need to go to God. Easier said than done at times, but I know this is a possible storm that God is already working in.

As I told my husband I just wish I knew what it was! He simply said, "We're not supposed to know everything." I struggled with that at first, but realize if we knew everything, I wouldn't have to trust God. Really when you come to that place of uncertainty, you realize the value in being able to trust the One who is all-knowing and all-powerful.

As I strive to do this, it isn't always easy, but the peace that comes with surrendering it all to Him is a blessing. Because of my tendency to worry it's one I've experience a few times in the last 24 hours.

But in this time of waiting, He's not only blessed me with His presence, but also revealed Himself and reminded me of a few vital truths. He is in control, This is His plan, and I need to trust Him!!

He's also given me some words that will one day serve as a reminder of the work He has done...

Time moves slow
while my mind races.
I counter worries
of the unknown,
with excitement of
what might be.
I treat life like
a math problem
and think eventually
I'll figure it out.
But no matter how
hard I work,
the answer will
never be rushed.
Life isn't a problem
for me to solve,
but a plan
that God will reveal.
This process takes place
on His time, not mine.
And the lesson is learned
on the journey,
not by arriving
at the destination.
What is God teaching you while you wait in the moments that are hard, make you cry and leave you asking "Why?"

1 comment:

  1. Waiting is hard. Especially about something so worrisome as a health problem. Sounds like your husband is a wise man! I'll say a prayer for you for good news and answers.