Wednesday, March 23, 2011

"Who am I?" - A work in progress...

I have a question for you, "Are you a list maker? How about a goal setter? Do you have a desire to accomplish one thing before you move on to the next?" Personally, I'd have to answer, yes, yes and most of the time. I enjoy crossing something off my list and knowing it is done, but rarely in a house with 4 little ones does anything stay done for long! If you're a Mom you understand - just when the dishes are done, someone is hungry again or just when the laundry is folded someone comes in covered in mud.

As a Mom there are tasks we do over and over and I'm beginning to realize as someone who finds my identity in Christ the same is true. I'm not saying Christianity is something I put on my to do list and simply a task I accomplish, no it is so much more than that!! I realize accepting Christ is a one time decision, but truly living for Him is a moment by moment choice.

Let me explain, just last night I found myself under what Renee Swope likes to call "the shadow of doubt." I was wrestling with what God was calling me to do and feeling like a failure in one of the roles He had given me to play. As I watched my husband vacuum our floor rather than appreciate his help, I believed satan's lie that I was a bad wife and couldn't do what I was supposed to do. Listening to one lie just brought more as he whispered I wasn't good enough to do what God was asking me to.

I hate to admit it, but this battle went on through the night until this morning when satan had almost convinced me that he was right - that I wasn't good enough and that what I did really didn't matter. I've been in this place before, which didn't help matters, actually it compounded them as I told myself more defeating thoughts. Ones like "haven't you been following Christ for years and you still let satan push you around?" or there was "one of these days God's just going to give up on you!" To top it all off there was, "You're never going to get it!"

It was then that life took over and that line of thinking stopped for awhile and before it had the chance to get going again God interrupted me with words from a friend and more importantly His word. Currently I'm privileged (and challenged) to be reading an early copy of Renee Swope's new book, "A Confident Heart." And God met me on the pages of her book today!!

By doing so He reminded me that I, His daughter who He chose and loves, am a work in progress. Walking in faith is not something that one day I will just magically succeed at, sure I will mature and grow (Lord willing), but no matter who I am, satan wants to attack and will. 1 Peter 5:8-9 says, "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings."

Friend it's true he is attacking and will do so especially when we are trying to make progress! I will never fully become who I am in Christ this side of heaven, but I can make progress and so can you! We can set goals as Christians as we walk in faith, but we must not forget there is an opponent who will do all he can to distract and defeat us as we strive to reach them. But at the same time let us not forget we have a Savior who has won the battle, so press on, hold on to His truth and like Renee advises, stay in the shadow of the Cross!!

Here are two verses that spoke to me; I pray God will speak to you as well -

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13

“How can you let God down when you weren’t ever holding Him up?” Steven Furtick ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

What words from The Word encourage you??


  1. Such a great post, Jill! Very transparent and filled with the truth of God's Word. So thankful you recognized this as an attack of the enemy AND for Renee's words to speak truth into your mind and heart. God is sooo good!!

    Looking forward to reading Renee's book myself. :)

    I love you, friend!

  2. Loved this post, Jill. Thank you for being so raw, so real. I am praying that God's voice will get louder and louder in your heart and in your thoughts, drowning out the convincing tone of doubt.

    As I read this post, I thought of chapters coming and smiled. I pray that as you keep reading A Confident you will see God has already gone before you, allowing questions in your heart to surface so that you can see HIM answer them in the chapters ahead.

    Remember - it's not about trying harder but turning sooner - turning away from the shadow of doubt and turning towards the LIGHT of HIS promises and truth!!!

    Take your time, take it all in and let HIS words sink deep into your heart.


  3. Love your post...not that you struggled, of course...but just your honesty that you have not "arrived" and how you turned to the Word.

    And I love Renee's comment to you...that it isn't about trying harder but about turning sooner. I am SUCH a try harder gal. So thankful He is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more patient with me than I am with me. :)

    Love you! Praying for you with that new little sweetie on the way!

    Your sister in Christ who is also very much a work in progress,
    K :)