Wednesday, March 2, 2011

"Who am I?" - Not what I do

Once again it's Wednesday and time to answer the question, "Who am I?" Lately when my mind asks this question, God has to remind me of His answer, "Jill, you are not what you do."

If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know I recently stepped down from the Rise and Shine Women's Retreat leadership team. This was a position I'd held for two years and the event was originally something God placed on my heart over 4 years ago. Trusting Him and stepping into the unknown was scary, but an adventure which God truly blessed. He worked through that in numerous ways, so stepping down was hard. Again it's simply a step of faith that involves trusting Him and stepping into the unknown. I know the adventure will continue...

Actually, it already has! In the last month, God really has me focusing on the idea of identity - where it's found and the role it plays. Lately He's been showing me for much of my life I've defined myself by what I have done.

Growing up as the oldest of three girls, I was usually the good girl, the people pleaser. In high school I was the basketball player who defined myself with wins and losses and measured my success with a stat sheet. College began in a similar fashion until an injury forced me to move from player to coach. After graduation, I kept the label "coach" and added teacher.

A few years later I was married and found myself answering the question, "Who am I?" with wife. Time continued to pass and our son was born. Then people would ask who I was and I found myself saying, "I use to teach school..."

At this point God began showing me that I was defining myself in the wrong way. Who I was wasn't determined by what I did. The roles I played could change and the reality of life is they will change, but who I am, a daughter of the King, will forever remain the same.

So now eight years later, why do I struggle with my role changing once again? Probably because I'm human, but I'm thankful for God's whispers of truth and reminders of who I am. Psalm 51:16-17 has spoken volumes lately. It says, "You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, you, God, will not despise."

God doesn't need the things I do, He wants me - a broken spirit, a child willing to be shaped and used for His purpose and glory however He sees fit. Does that mean I shouldn't serve and be involved in ministry? Absolutely not!! But my heart must be willing to do and serve where, when and how He wants!! He does NOT measure my worth (or yours) by what I do and He doesn't define me (or you) by what we accomplish (at least according to the world's standards.)

Awhile back I heard pastor Steven Furtick say, "Our identity in Christ must supercede our activity for Him." I couldn't agree more with that statement! But I'm once again realizing agreeing with something and living like it is true are two different things! I'm so thankful God is reminding that it doesn't matter if I'm part of a team that reaches nearly 400 women for HIM or the 4 children in my house. No, all that matters is knowing I am HIS and living like it!!

Friend, have you ever defined yourself by what you did or the roles you played? How has God helped you understand that is NOT who you are? I'd love to hear your story!! Just click on "comment" below and share your thoughts.

1 comment:

  1. So so true Jill but al to often we do identify ourselves by our doing. We too step out of youth ministry this past spring and it has been really hard for us not to be serving...it feels like we are in a desert but I am calling it respite. We know God is just fine-tuning us because the doing was superseding the heart.

    May we live daily in Him and not ourselves.

    Believing Him~Pamela

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