Happiness, something we all seem to be searching for but rarely seem to find. And in those rare instances when we have it in our hands it seems to disappear quite quickly! Today I'm joining Lelia's study of Lisa Whittle's book Behind Those Eyes and this week we are looking at Ms. Happiness.
She is someone we all long to be or at least I know I have tried to play the part. Lisa explains how we look for this happiness in ourselves, others and even the things we have or do. Ultimately it's all for naught!
Yesterday I had an experience that brought this to life and really made Lisa's words true. I already knew that was the case, but this situation solidified that truth. How nothing really will bring lasting happiness and how I'm sorry to say, we (I) can put on the mask and make others think I'm happy, but I will always know the truth and God does too.
Anyway two weeks ago, I signed a book contract - that should make me happy right? Wrong! Sure at times it was and still is exciting, but honestly it is scary and yesterday really brought tears rather than smiles. You see this isn't a book I ever thought I'd publish - it's basically the story of my walk of faith that includes journal entries and personal emails. I'm sharing the real me with the world and for someone who has hid most of my life this is a big step out of my comfort zone.
When I couple this with the fact that I've lived the majority of my life as a people pleaser doubt can creep in. Especially when certain loved ones, the very ones I lived to please, don't understand or approve of my decision to put myself out there. It hurts and the tension it's created in our relationship really caused me to question yesterday.
Sure others have shared the excitement about me being an author and really I wish I could grab a little of that for myself, but do I tell them that? Not often enough - I put on the smile and play the game while internally I'm thinking if they only knew! Last night the buzzer sounded though and the game came to an end as I shared with Leanne, my spiritual mom and c0-author about my worries and doubts.
Lisa's whole book is about being real and ladies that is who God wants us to be. It's living the truth and like He says that will set us free. With that freedom comes peace and real happiness, better known as Joy! Like Lisa says, "True joy comes from within when we are operating in our life in the way that pleases God."
So back to my question, how can I find happiness? Last night I was reminded once again I never will! I've lived long enough to know I can't make myself happy and just yesterday was reminded there comes a time when I can't please others (and the same is true for them pleasing me) and the things that make us happy can change and quickly cause us pain.
My pastor once was talking about marriage and shared from a book how it's intended for holiness not happiness, and I think that relates to life as well because as we live to be holy the happiness takes care of itself. That's not the happiness of the world, but the JOY of the Lord and the best way to find that is by keeping things in order
I pray you have a joy-filled day!!