Saturday, June 20, 2009

Is it just me?

In my last post I posed a question and throughout the week God has me thinking about it even more. My question was, "Who am I?" It can be easy to come up with many answers tied to the various roles I play, but I've been reminded that what I do is not the same as who I am.

And in that post I took the question a bit farther and thought not just about my answers, but more importantly God's. I know I can go to His word and find verses that prove He says I'm loved, called, beautiful, blessed, strengthened, created for a purpose and on and on...

What continues to strike me is how I know what the Bible says and I do believe God's word is true, but why do I still struggle to apply this truth to my own life? Doubt seems to creep in much too easily and feelings of being overwhelmed can change my perspective much too quickly.

I seem to be in the midst of stepping out into some new territory for God while at the same time preparing for a new baby and continueing with the life I've been living . (You know all those roles we play?) At times I wonder how this will all work...that's not a new thought for me, but the question I'm asking is.

Have you ever been to that place where you struggle with applying God's truth and promises to your own life? You believe what He says is true, but living in that truth is a challenge? I guess I'm curious if it's just me, but at the same time experience has proved I'm rarely alone. So if this is a wrestling match you've found yourself in, I'd love to hear how your hand was raised in victory.


  1. Oh girl, I struggle with this alot. And it's so GOD to have you post something like this as I just finished typing my first of two testimonies/stories I have to write for peer eval at She Speaks next month.

    It's so true that we define ourselves as a wife, a mother, a sister, daughter--whatever profession we are in-- but we are more than that, but knowing it and 'living it' are so not the same thing.

    Paul says that 'if we live by the Spirit, we must also walk by the Spirit.' When I first read that years ago, I didn't understand. I still have a hard time grasping it, ya know. But, just because we have the Spirit of the Living God dwelling inside of us, it doesn't mean that we actually walk in His Spirit. I allow Danielle to rule and reign so much of the time, how can the Spirit have authority in my life.

    But, God is so merciful. He shows me daily, cause ya know, my skull is think, and my heart even thicker... that when I not only [know] His truths, but I live and breathe His truths, then I get it. It's a constant struggle and there are so many days I live in defeat because it seems easier. And of course there is the accuser that would have me continue to live in defeat.

    What I do... I call on Jesus's name. Over and over and over again. I close my eyes and say..."Jesus, Jesus, Jesus." I know it sounds simple, in a way, but let me tell you... it is powerful. When I close my eyes and call on Him in that way, there becomes a shadow that I see behind my eye-lids. It's the shadow of the cross. To me, that sums up who I am... or Whose.

    Does that make any sense to you? I don't even know if I answered your question.LOL

  2. "why do I still struggle to apply this truth to my own life?"

    Because we're human! haha, I ask myself this question on a daily basis! We just have to keep going back to the scripture and repeat it to ourselves :)

    p.s. thank you so much for your kind words on my blog! This week has been tough but we are getting through!

  3. Hi Jill-- thanks for writing a comment on my blog today! I loved hearing your story!

    It sounds like God is leading you to She Speaks... if that's true, please come up and introduce yourself!! Nice to make a connection with you today-- I am glad God used your computer as your wall!

  4. Oh, Jill, it is so human to struggle. We want to do what is right...believe with our whole heart, obey and really trust, but there is another law at work within us. Read Paul's words in Romans 7:21-25.

    We all too often forget who and whose we are, don't we? I believe we need to just keep going to the Lord and reminding ourselves of who you are in Christ. Let's pray for one another too. Deal?!

  5. The things the Lord has been showing me this morning line up with what Danielle said, and the other comments about living/abiding in the Spirit.

    When I was bound in chains of anxiety, I kept receiving the promise from the Lord to bring me out into a spacious place. Anxiety comes from being earthly minded. Viewing the temporal, the things that fail (like me). Instead of viewing the limitless power of God, the limitless love of God, the limitless deliverance or provision or healing or whatever of our God. In other words, my eyes were on the wrong thing.

    In Psalm 18:18,19 The Psalmist talks about God rescuing from the enemy and bringing out into a spacious place. The lies we fight and struggle with are our enemies, and when they attack us, we must learn to stop them at the threshold of our mind by the power of the Spirit(the truth), we then come into that spacious place of freedom from the enemies that chain us to "molds" we must fit in. (Lies bring our focus off of God onto us=bondage)

    Walking in the Spirit is walking in the heavenly place. Flying. Rising up on eagle's wings. To be spiritually minded is life and peace. Living according to the truth is freedom. I picture the sky (freedom) verses the rocky terrain of earth.

    To be earthly minded it death. Limitations, chains, bondage...Amazing that when Paul was in earthly prison, he was as free as ever because he was living according to the Spirit. In Phillipians, he is full of joy and rejoicing, and his focus is on "knowing Christ, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings".

    By the grace of God, we abide in the Spirit. No effort of our own, but just resting.

    I, for one, try too hard to gain something I already have.

    Jesus would tell me, "just believe it, and receive it!" I don't because I am so used to striving!

    So, I strive to rest. OxyMORON! ha ha!! Glad for His patience. Glad for His blood. Glad He is the potter and not me!