Do you ever feel ordinary??

I came across this poem from a couple of years ago...it was the reminder I needed and thought maybe someone else needed it too!!

"An Ordinary Girl"
My house can be a mess and
sometimes the kids are naughty.
My past is far from perfect and
my mind is full of doubt.
Lord, I'm not qualified and
this is nothing I deserve -
I'm just an ordinary girl.

Then I met her -
the one who has it all together
or so I thought,
but she's not perfect either.
She's had her share of falls and
even questioned her own worth -
She's an ordinary girl.

But God, then there's You -
the Maker of the heavens and the earth.
The One who moves mountains
and has counted every star.
You can use us all,
especially when we're just
an ordinary girl!!

Words brought to life...

A newborn baby in the house means a loss of sleep (plus many other wonderful things!!), but the other night a truth was brought to life while I was up with our new little man. I was already lacking in the sleep department and the night I hoped would be better, well it wasn't, so I pulled myself out of bed once again and did what I needed to do.

I sat down to feed Jesse and looked for something to pass my time. Rather than opening the book that kept me up longer than my baby did, I pulled our calendar off the shelf and decided to look at what the new month would bring. It was then something caught my attention; no, it wasn't the events scheduled or the first day of school instead it was a verse that instantly took on a meaning that was real!!

The words on our calendar read, "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good." (1 Peter 2:2,3)

Now, I've read this verse numerous times and heard it as well. I know the point Peter is making, but that night as I sat there with a newborn babe in my arms these words came to life! You don't have to be a Mom to know babies need milk, I really believe that is an understood fact of life. But if you are a Mom, you've experienced the craving newborns have for milk. It feeds them and fills them. Calms them and comforts them. This is what they desire!

This isn't a one time desire either! My little guy craves milk quite often...at times it feels like this is a constant desire and others it seems to be the only desire!!

That night as I sat in the early hours thinking about this I was struck by the contrast in my desires with that of my son. Honestly I wasn't craving spiritual milk at that moment like my son was craving physical milk. And if I'm truthful I don't know if I've ever craved God's Word in the same way my son cried out for his nourishment.

How about you? Do you crave spiritual milk like a newborn baby craves that which sustains him? Remember craving it, isn't enough - my son doesn't stop longing for milk when I pick him up, he is not satisfied until his desire is met. Friend will you join me in being more aware of what we crave? Let's move past realizing we need this spiritual meal and make an effort similar to the one I do with my son, let's get ourselves out of bed and let our Heavenly Father provide the nourishment that only He can.

And then when we're feeling empty, cry out and let Him fill us again!! This strategy works for my son and I know God is a much better parent than me!!!

What words have been brought to life for you recently??

He's Here!!!

The wait is over...God blessed us with a wonderful gift this past week - Jesse Clay Beran arrived on July 19th at 9:24 AM! He weighed in at 7 pounds 10 ounces and was 21 inches long! He's our number 5, but has already set himself apart with a birth story that is unique!!

We arrived at the hospital Tuesday morning after a quick drive to town - usually it's nearly a 45 minute trip, but this time Job cut it to 30! At 8:55 we spoke with the nurse in the OB department and since all three delivery rooms were full she took us into a family waiting room to get my vitals, but she soon realized things were progressing, so opened the door and informed the others, "We NEED a room!" It was then Job said, "I kind of feel like Mary and Joseph!!"

The nurses responded and a little after 9 we made our way into the new found room! And it wasn't even 25 minutes later when I sat in disbelief with a new little boy in my arms! Once again I was overwhelmed with all God had done...the provision, the details, the gift! He is GOOD!!

We quickly called his big brothers and sisters to share the news, but had yet to name our new little man. In the hours to come, God would give us that as well. We knew it would be a J and had it narrowed down, but eventually realized he was our little Jesse, which means gift. Now 5 days later, I know this is his name...gifts aren't something we expect or get on our own; no, they come from God and for that I am grateful!!

After his first name it was onto the middle, which was a much quicker task! Early on in the pregnancy it seemed God had given me the middle name for either a boy or a girl and as we said, "Jesse Clay" we knew that was the case. Throughout the pregnancy I was reminded that I am nothing but clay in the hands of the Potter and our prayer is little Jesse will one day surrender his life to Christ and allow God to shape him, mold him and use him for His glory!!

Now for a few pics -

Jesse Clay Beran

Job and the Beran Bunch!!
J.D., Joy, Jaylyn, Jed and Jesse

"Look what I found!!"
A picture of peace!

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and well wishes, we are blessed and thankful!!

While I wait....

Tomorrow we hit 37 weeks in our pregnancy and the waiting game has already begun! The closest we've come to our due date was a week early and the Dr. doesn't expect us to deliver this one July 28th. Today as thoughts about our baby, the delivery and timing distract me I was reminded I have felt this way before.

Back on October 9th of 2009 I was in a similar position - awaiting the arrival of our 4th child when I shared these words...

"I'm beginning to feel I can relate to John Waller's song, "While I'm Waiting" in a whole new way. But really I guess the song relates to any waiting periods we have. In this life we have various situations and circumstances and the last 10 days we've played the waiting game in our house.


You see we are expecting our 4th child on the 29th of this month, but last week after my check-up, the Dr. told me things were progressing. So I travelled home expecting the baby to be born soon...

After a couple of normal days, my patience was growing thin and I was growing frustrated as I attempted to figure out when this little one would arrive. Yesterday I returned to the Dr. and she told me my body is half way there, but yet now 24 hours later nothing has happened.

Now it's not only my patience that is growing thin, but so is that of my oldest 2 kids who are anxiously awaiting their new little brother or sister. Today as I've been frustrated with our time of waiting, I heard the song, I've listened to numerous times, but related to it in a whole new way.

Regardless of why we need to wait, God has a purpose for these minutes, days, weeks and sometimes years. And today He has simply reminded me I'm not the one in control, life isn't about my plans, but His and since they are perfect while I'm waiting I pray this is the song of my heart...

I’m waiting

I’m waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I’m waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting

I will serve You

While I’m waiting

I will worship

While I’m waiting

I will not faint

I’ll be running the race

Even while I wait

I’m waiting

I’m waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I’m waiting on You, Lord

Though it’s not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting

I will worship while I’m waiting

I will serve You while I’m waiting

I will worship while I’m waiting

I will serve You while I’m waiting

I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord."


My Dr. hasn't made any predictions but has reminded me with my history we should be prepared. The words to this song and the memory of a past "wait" remind me God is in control and He is worthy of my worship! Lord, help me, help us all do this!!

"Who am I?" - O-V-E-R-W-H-E-L-M-E-D

I've been away from my blog for awhile and the title of this post is part of the reason - I have found myself a bit overwhelmed at times! There have been moments this description of me has defined me - not always a good thing, but God has used this to teach me.

You see we are weeks, or possibly days from delivering our 5th child, and though I've known about this and had 8 months to prepare thinking about it still overwhelms me at times. I mean I'm the gal who survived on nutty bars, Diet Mountain Dew and macaroni and cheese my first couple of years out of college. I'm on the verge of being responsible for feeding 5 little ones - that alone is a scary thought!! It's not just the physical feeding (or cost of raising a family) that has consumed me but the spiritual growth and training I'm responsible for as well.

Then there are the events outside the walls of my home as well - the pain, the grief, the sin, the lost, the change...if I allow myself to focus on this in the wrong way the overwhelming feelings intensify! But, the other day as I took a walk down our quiet country road God reminded me being overwhelmed isn't always a bad thing.

Initially this thought surprised me, but then I was reminded of the times God has overwhelmed me and that is a good thing!!! I paused and took a moment to let this thought sink in and as I did I looked out across the field to see our cattle and God reminded me of His, "I have no need of a bull from your stall or of goats from your pens, for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills." (Psalm 50:9-10) The thought of His resources overwhelmed me and took the worry of my lack of them away!!

My lesson in the great outdoors didn't end there, overhead there were birds and I was reminded of the sparrow, "Not even a sparrow, worth only half a penny, can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to Him than a whole flock of sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31) God cares about the birds, He sees them fall...though others may be unaware of my struggles, He is in the midst of them. The overwhelming thought of feeling all alone was replaced by awe for the value my Father sees in me!!

Then an internal kick changed the course of my thoughts and God changed the reason for my overwhelming feelings. At times I've focused on the change that lies ahead and the work that mothering 5 children will involve, but as I recalled Psalm 127:3 my perspective changed. These words say, "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him." I was still overwhelmed, but now it was for a good, Godly reason - the God of the universe has chosen me to be these little ones Mom, that is unbelievable! They truly are gifts I must treasure!!

Thinking about the responsibility these gifts require is a bit overwhelming, but God kept the lesson going as I recalled Isaiah 41:3, "For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." This is not a job I can do on my own and when I think about it that way I am overwhelmed, but knowing God is there and not just offering His help, but assuring me of it, I am overwhelmed for a new reason. A good reason, a Godly one!!

Friend if you find yourself overwhelmed today can I suggest you take your concerns to the Lord, listen to what He has to say. Let Him overwhelm you with His love, His power, His provision and His strength!!

"Who am I?" - A Child

Have you ever thought of yourself as a child? Perhaps your answer is "Yes, I was a child, but I'm all grown up now." Oh wouldn't it be wonderful if that was the case!! The all grown up part anyway!!

When I think about this one of two things come to mind - pleasant thoughts or ones that can get me down. It really depends on what my children are doing at the time - if they are enjoying a carefree day, living in the moment and loving life the thought of me being a child is wonderful! I recently heard someone say, "Oh to be a kid again..." and I know they were recalling the life free of worry, days filled with fun and no responsibility, the joy of being a child. One who is cared for, given direction and loved simply because they are!

Then there are the moments when my children are being kids - ones who fight, don't always obey and are not quick to listen. The thought of me being a child enters my mind and occasionally I may think, "No, I'm beyond that!" but usually it hits me that the statement is true, in God's eyes I am a child and always will be!! Then I wonder do I frustrate Him like my children can me? I'm afraid I know the answer to that question!!

But rather than focus on my thoughts and answers, let's take a look at God's!! Scripture shows us He defines me, and you, as a child. Not just any child, but His!!

"See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him." 1 John 3:1

Will you take a minute and think about this verse? What does it mean?? For me, the word love jumps out! In 6 weeks or less, I will meet the child I am carrying - one I love! On that special day and in the ones to come, my husband and I will lavish love on this little one because he or she is our child!! Thinking about God doing the same to me, is pretty powerful!!

And now as I meditate on this verse, the next two lines hit me as well - His Word clearly states this is who we are!! I am reminded once again that only God can define me!! The final sentence teaches me as well; sometimes the very fact that I'm God's child will cause confusion because those who don't know Him won't always understand or accept me, His child.

Defining ourselves as God's children does more than create confusion! No, this very fact affects eternity!! God doesn't just call us children, He asks us to believe like them and have faith like a child! What does that mean? We don't need to have all the answers, we aren't required to analyze everything...He asks us to believe!! "Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Mark 10:15

God also knows there will be times when we behave like the children we are, so just like my children are learning, we must remember our actions have consequences. When my kids sin, they know discipline will soon follow and with God as my Father, I can expect the same!! "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all." Hebrews 12:6-8

God disciplines me and you because He loves us! As we receive His love and find our identity in our role as His child, we are called and should be encouraged to share that love! "Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Eph. 5:1,2

As we grow and mature, we should become more obedient. This obedience should lead to a life that makes our Father proud and impacts those around us! "Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky..." Phil. 2:14-15

Finally simply knowing that we are God's children doesn't paint a real clear picture of the future, there will always be some unknown, but as His children we can rest and be at peace because of this truth - "Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is." 1 John 3:2

Friend, can I ask you a question? What difference does it make that you are a child of God?

We never know...

Today after a visit on the phone and news that was hard to understand I was reminded that there are many things we don't know and just as many that we cannot control. As I heard about Marcus, a strong, active young man who just celebrated his high school graduation, my heart hurt.

Three weeks ago this young man, whom I use to babysit, was air-lifted to a major medical center with swelling on his brain. The diagnosis was meningitis, treatment given and he returned home. Doctors were amazed at his quick response and recovery.

That was until nearly 10 days later when the symptoms returned and he was again flown away for more help. That was almost a week ago and he's spent most of the time in an induced coma. When he was awake there was pain and I was told the words he speaks are these, "Dad, don't let me die."

As a parent those are hard words to think about; I can't imagine being in his parents' shoes. It's hard enough hearing this from your son, but thinking about the Dr.'s saying something like, "Be prepared for anything, we don't know what lies ahead," complicates things in a big way.

I've thought about this and prayed for Marcus and his family throughout the day and as I've done so I'm reminded of a verse I read this morning. James 4:13-14 says this, "Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

I know this statement is true, but Marcus's situation really brings the reality of it to life. They have no idea what tomorrow will bring - will it be a miracle, answered prayer or devastating news that changes the future they've always dreamt of? He doesn't know, his parents don't know and even the Dr.'s don't know, but God does.

And friend perhaps our circumstances aren't as scary and life threatening today as they are for Marcus and his family, but it wasn't long ago, actually a yesterday not even a month ago when his family thought their tomorrow would be like all the ones that had already passed. A "normal busy day full of joys and daily trials" never imaging things would be turned upside down by with what initially appeared to be a headache.

We don't want this reality to scare us or cause us to live in fear and worry, but yet it should wake us up because really we are all on the verge of death. Though each and every one of us are in a different place and going in various directions we are all heading to the same destination - end of life as we know it on this earth.

And this reality brings to mind another passage of scripture, “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him." Matthew 24:42-44

I close with a question, "Are you ready? Are your children ready?" because we never know...

And please join me in praying for Marcus, his parents, family, friends and all the Dr.s who are trying to help!!