"Because I said so!" These are words most children think they will never repeat, but many, when they become the parent, often do. Why is that? Because parents are the authority and have, or should have, the final say...often times no bigger explanation is needed.
Over the past week I've thought about this a bit differently...I'm past the fact that I've said something I thought I never would, but lately I've been thinking about things from the child's perspective. I'm not talking about my children, but myself and if you are a child of God, I'm thinking of you as well.
I've never heard God say to me, "Because I said so," but I think He's a Father we can assume wants us to obey and believe what He has to say.
Over the past few months, He's been leading me to expand the idea of Titus24U. It's been the name of my blog for 5 years, but currently He's asking me to live out this idea in my home church. So this Thursday night we are planning the first ever Titus24U time...an opportunity for women to connect with God and one another! There will be time for fellowship, worship, prayer, a word of encouragement and discussion.
In my mind it makes sense and I'm excited to have some time to connect and go deeper, but when I think about me leading this doubt creeps in and insecurity takes over. I know this happens when I take my eyes off of God, so I'm grateful He is helping me see when that happens and I can refocus and trust.
All along though I've known God was leading me to this place and as I stepped out one step at a time, in a way I felt like a kid who was moving forward because her Father said so. I was pressing on and fighting fear because I longed to obey.
A couple of weeks ago, God confirmed all that was taking place as I read Luke 5:5 - "Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”
Granted my situation is different than Peter's, but they do have something in common - in our opinion's what's being asked doesn't make much sense. I mean Peter has already done exactly what Jesus is telling him to do and had no results, but he knows who Jesus is and he doesn't just listen, but friend he obeys.
I read those words and though I could come up with a few excuses and reasons of my own, I knew my response had to be just like Peter's, so I whispered to God, "Because You say so, I will move forward with this Titus24U time..."
Friend, if God is leading you to take a step, or even a leap, of faith or asking you to obey a command that is hard can I challenge you to think about Peter's response and encourage you to make it your own?
Perhaps thinking about the rest of that story in Luke will help! Verses 6 and 7 go on to say, "When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So
they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them,
and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink."
As a parent there are times I think I know what's best and right for my kids, but friend God ALWAYS does! If we take Him at His Word and obey simply because He says so, our lives will overflow with blessings in the same way Peter's boat overflowed with fish! (So you know, I'm telling myself to remember what I just wrote!!)
So today listen, really listen, and if you can't hear God ask Him to speak clearer and then be prepared to act simply because He says so!
I'd love to hear what He's whispering to you and I'd be honored to pray for you so leave a comment and I'll do just that! I also appreciate your prayers as I attempt to do what He says as well!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Will you call me friend?
I recently came across a poem...one I've read before, but one that again has my attention. Mark Cahill's words make me think, they make me wonder and they've caused me to pray. And now I'm led to share them with my Facebook friends...ones I'm connected to in various ways here on Earth and people I pray I'll stay connected with thru all eternity.
Today my friend, I hope you will read the words below and after you do, I pray if you have any questions you will ask them of me. I'm grateful for our friendship and hopeful it will last forever!
"My Friend"
My friend, I stand in judgment now,
And feel that you’re to blame somehow.
On Earth I walked with you day by day,
And never did you show me the way.
You knew the Lord in truth and glory,
But never did you tell the story.
My knowledge then was very dim;
You could have led me safe to Him.
Though we lived together here on Earth,
You never told me of the second birth.
And now I stand this day condemned,
Because you failed to mention Him.
You taught me so many things, that’s true;
I called you “friend” and trusted you.
But I learn now that it’s too late,
And you could have kept me from this fate.
We walked by day and talked by night,
And yet you showed me not the light.
You let me live, and love, and die,
You knew I’d never live on high.
Yes, I called you “friend” in life,
And trusted you through joy and strife.
And, yet, on coming to this dreadful end,
I cannot, now, call you “my friend.”
Monday, April 22, 2013
"What can we do?"
Recently I was part of a conversation in which we were discussing events and beliefs in the world today. The horror of the bombings in Boston, the actions of Dr. Gosnell and our culture's tendency to call good evil and evil good. As we shared, we kept coming back to the same question, "What can we do?"
For those of you who know me personally, you understand I'm one who avoids conflict and I'm not one to throw my opinion around. I don't want to get into a war of words, but at times my heart breaks as I see our world (including me at times) accept sin as a way of life.
This question, "What can we do?" didn't just enter my mind; honestly I've thought about it quite often and even presented it to God in prayer. I finally feel like He's giving me an answer.
And friend, He's not leading me to DO anything, but He did whisper..."Just be who I made you to be." Though He created us each uniquely and has a specific plan for you and me, He's called us all to be disciples - ones who follow Him and make disciples too. Ones who serve and share. Ones who speak the Truth in love. Ones who love their neighbor, but don't embrace their sin.
The more I try to do this the more I realize God can work thru me, not by doing some BIG ministry thing, but being who He made me to be. A child who receives His love, so that I can share it with others. A woman He's gifted, so that He can build His kingdom. A daughter who depends on Him so that He can do all things thru me. An individual who knows God is holy, sovereign, loving and forgiving so that I can trust Him. A woman who's accepted Christ as Lord and Savior so that I will go to heaven one day and am now filled with His Spirit. A person who can look back and see what God's done for me so that I long for others, even you, to experience the same.
To confirm all these thoughts God led me to Mark 5:19 today...Jesus has just cast the demons out of Legion and He says to him, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how He has had mercy on you.”
I truly believe these words are ones Jesus wants to share with us today! What can we do as evil surrounds us, people lose hope and sin becomes a way of life? We can share what the Lord has done for us! We can tell of forgiveness that has set us free, hope that's led us through the darkness and peace that surpasses all understanding. We can tell the world, our friends, our family about Jesus, the One who died for you and me!
Looking back I'm thankful for the friends who told me about Christ and I pray God will help me do the same. I want to be a friend who matters...not just in this life, but for eternity. I pray you do too and hope these words from Mark Cahill will encourage you to live out Mark 5:19 and do the thing God asks us to do as we be who He created us to be!!
For those of you who know me personally, you understand I'm one who avoids conflict and I'm not one to throw my opinion around. I don't want to get into a war of words, but at times my heart breaks as I see our world (including me at times) accept sin as a way of life.
This question, "What can we do?" didn't just enter my mind; honestly I've thought about it quite often and even presented it to God in prayer. I finally feel like He's giving me an answer.
And friend, He's not leading me to DO anything, but He did whisper..."Just be who I made you to be." Though He created us each uniquely and has a specific plan for you and me, He's called us all to be disciples - ones who follow Him and make disciples too. Ones who serve and share. Ones who speak the Truth in love. Ones who love their neighbor, but don't embrace their sin.
The more I try to do this the more I realize God can work thru me, not by doing some BIG ministry thing, but being who He made me to be. A child who receives His love, so that I can share it with others. A woman He's gifted, so that He can build His kingdom. A daughter who depends on Him so that He can do all things thru me. An individual who knows God is holy, sovereign, loving and forgiving so that I can trust Him. A woman who's accepted Christ as Lord and Savior so that I will go to heaven one day and am now filled with His Spirit. A person who can look back and see what God's done for me so that I long for others, even you, to experience the same.
To confirm all these thoughts God led me to Mark 5:19 today...Jesus has just cast the demons out of Legion and He says to him, “Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how He has had mercy on you.”
I truly believe these words are ones Jesus wants to share with us today! What can we do as evil surrounds us, people lose hope and sin becomes a way of life? We can share what the Lord has done for us! We can tell of forgiveness that has set us free, hope that's led us through the darkness and peace that surpasses all understanding. We can tell the world, our friends, our family about Jesus, the One who died for you and me!
Looking back I'm thankful for the friends who told me about Christ and I pray God will help me do the same. I want to be a friend who matters...not just in this life, but for eternity. I pray you do too and hope these words from Mark Cahill will encourage you to live out Mark 5:19 and do the thing God asks us to do as we be who He created us to be!!
"My Friend"
My friend, I stand in judgment now,
And feel that you’re to blame somehow.
On Earth I walked with you day by day,
And never did you show me the way.
You knew the Lord in truth and glory,
But never did you tell the story.
My knowledge then was very dim;
You could have led me safe to Him.
Though we lived together here on Earth,
You never told me of the second birth.
And now I stand this day condemned,
Because you failed to mention Him.
You taught me so many things, that’s true;
I called you “friend” and trusted you.
But I learn now that it’s too late,
And you could have kept me from this fate.
We walked by day and talked by night,
And yet you showed me not the light.
You let me live, and love, and die,
You knew I’d never live on high.
Yes, I called you “friend” in life,
And trusted you through joy and strife.
And, yet, on coming to this dreadful end,
I cannot, now, call you “my friend.”
And friend, if this post has left you with questions or even a bit confused, email me at jillberan@yahoo.com and I'd be honored to connect with you and be a friend - one who tells you what Jesus has done for me and how He wants to do the same for you! Praying for you now!
Friday, April 19, 2013
"Remembering"
Remembering, the act of recalling or thinking again, is something I've done on April 19th for the last 18 years. Back on this day in 1995, I had reconstructive knee surgery and while in the recovery room I learned of the Oklahoma City bombing. (This may or may not have confused me!) These events still come to mind every year when this day rolls around, but the date stands out for another reason.
Four years ago, back in 2009, this was our due date for a baby we lost early in the pregnancy. I can still remember my first Dr.'s appointment when he gave me our due date...instantly my mind thought, April 19th...now something good can happen on that day. Only a few weeks passed and I realized the day that marked the end of basketball like I knew it would take on a whole new meaning. Now it reminded me of a birthday we thought we'd celebrate but never have, a baby we wanted to hold but never did.
Friend, for the last 3 years this remembering has been hard and honestly it has brought tears. I've asked questions, wondered why and grieved the little one we never knew. I've thought about what she would look like, what she would like to do and how much I'd love her. I've realized our family would be different and I'm grateful for the two little boys God's given since she was taken away.
Today, the day we once expected to be full of fun, laughter and cake, I remember. I remember what I thought this day would be, but I find myself doing more...I'm thinking again about what God has done.
He carried me through a time when there were moments I wasn't sure I'd survive.
He provided comfort in His Word and through His people.
He's blessed me with 5 little ones who call me "Mom"!
He's listened to my cries for help and answered many prayers.
He's been present thru the good and the bad; He's calmed the storms...and my heart.
He's reminded me of His love and powerful plan.
He's increased my faith and proved His faithfulness.
Today I remember...I remember our little one with tears once again. But this time it's not just tears of loss, pain and sadness; this time there are tears of gratefulness as I recall a Father who's also lost a child, one He sent for me, joy as I think about the hope of heaven and appreciation for my God, the One who works all things together for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)
And may I ask, "What do you remember today?"
Four years ago, back in 2009, this was our due date for a baby we lost early in the pregnancy. I can still remember my first Dr.'s appointment when he gave me our due date...instantly my mind thought, April 19th...now something good can happen on that day. Only a few weeks passed and I realized the day that marked the end of basketball like I knew it would take on a whole new meaning. Now it reminded me of a birthday we thought we'd celebrate but never have, a baby we wanted to hold but never did.
Friend, for the last 3 years this remembering has been hard and honestly it has brought tears. I've asked questions, wondered why and grieved the little one we never knew. I've thought about what she would look like, what she would like to do and how much I'd love her. I've realized our family would be different and I'm grateful for the two little boys God's given since she was taken away.
Today, the day we once expected to be full of fun, laughter and cake, I remember. I remember what I thought this day would be, but I find myself doing more...I'm thinking again about what God has done.
He carried me through a time when there were moments I wasn't sure I'd survive.
He provided comfort in His Word and through His people.
He's blessed me with 5 little ones who call me "Mom"!
He's listened to my cries for help and answered many prayers.
He's been present thru the good and the bad; He's calmed the storms...and my heart.
He's reminded me of His love and powerful plan.
He's increased my faith and proved His faithfulness.
Today I remember...I remember our little one with tears once again. But this time it's not just tears of loss, pain and sadness; this time there are tears of gratefulness as I recall a Father who's also lost a child, one He sent for me, joy as I think about the hope of heaven and appreciation for my God, the One who works all things together for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28)
And may I ask, "What do you remember today?"
Monday, April 15, 2013
Growing into it...
A couple of weeks ago, I shared a story about a dress that my husband bought...one I didn't want, especially after I realized it was 3 sizes bigger than I normally wear! (If you missed it, you can read it HERE.) The dress and the story behind it have created many conversations...some that caused frustration and others that created laughs, but one in particular has stuck with me.
Upon hearing it was too big, my oldest son, seriously responded, "Well, you can just grow into it." Obviously he's been told that a time or two in his 10 years and clearly he doesn't yet understand that once you hit a certain age you no longer want to grow into clothes!
At first this was one of the conversations that made everyone laugh...the innocence of a child truly is something that brings joy. Honestly though it created a bit of frustration...growing into that dress is a reality if I don't do a better job of taking care of my body, exercising and eating healthy. But God has used my little guys words in ways I didn't expect.
You see in my original post about this dress I shared much about the labels we wear and how we can't let our past or other people's words define us. God is the One who created us and knows who we are!
His labels don't describe our size but instead say things like -
Loved - "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
Forgiven - "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12
Chosen - "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9
Gifted - "We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully." Romans 12:6-8
Friend, I don't know about you, but for me these are labels I've had to grow into and are ones I pray I will continue to grow into. I've been reflecting on what God has done in my life and I'm amazed...looking back I can see I've grown and that's a good thing. It's what children are supposed to do!
As a child of God I pray I will continue to mature and have a better understanding of the depth of His love for me. I'm asking Him to give me a better grasp of the magnitude of His forgiveness so I can do the same for others. I'm praying He will help me live out my role as His chosen child better each and every day. I'm seeking His direction as I attempt to use the gifts He's given me in a way that glorifies Him.
Honestly, I hope I never grow into clothes that are 3 sizes bigger than the ones I currently wear, but I pray I will never stop growing into the person God made me to be!!
Upon hearing it was too big, my oldest son, seriously responded, "Well, you can just grow into it." Obviously he's been told that a time or two in his 10 years and clearly he doesn't yet understand that once you hit a certain age you no longer want to grow into clothes!
At first this was one of the conversations that made everyone laugh...the innocence of a child truly is something that brings joy. Honestly though it created a bit of frustration...growing into that dress is a reality if I don't do a better job of taking care of my body, exercising and eating healthy. But God has used my little guys words in ways I didn't expect.
You see in my original post about this dress I shared much about the labels we wear and how we can't let our past or other people's words define us. God is the One who created us and knows who we are!
His labels don't describe our size but instead say things like -
Loved - "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
Forgiven - "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12
Chosen - "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." 1 Peter 2:9
Gifted - "We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully." Romans 12:6-8
Friend, I don't know about you, but for me these are labels I've had to grow into and are ones I pray I will continue to grow into. I've been reflecting on what God has done in my life and I'm amazed...looking back I can see I've grown and that's a good thing. It's what children are supposed to do!
As a child of God I pray I will continue to mature and have a better understanding of the depth of His love for me. I'm asking Him to give me a better grasp of the magnitude of His forgiveness so I can do the same for others. I'm praying He will help me live out my role as His chosen child better each and every day. I'm seeking His direction as I attempt to use the gifts He's given me in a way that glorifies Him.
Honestly, I hope I never grow into clothes that are 3 sizes bigger than the ones I currently wear, but I pray I will never stop growing into the person God made me to be!!
Monday, April 8, 2013
I don't understand...
Do you ever find yourself thinking - I don't understand...I do.
I don't understand why people get cancer. I don't understand why babies die. I don't understand why bad things always seem to happen at the same time.
I don't understand what I should say to those who are hurting. I don't understand what I should do for those who need Christ, but push Him away. I don't understand how I can teach my kids about God's goodness when they're struggling with their Great Grandma's battle with cancer.
I've spent some time sharing these things with God and as I did He brought a verse to mind. A verse He's used in my life numerous times before and one He had me focusing on just yesterday.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight."
This verse has been powerful in my life, but tonight the phrase that has my attention is: "lean not on your own understanding." The NLT says, "Do not depend on your own understanding." As I reflected on this piece of wisdom from Solomon, I realized it's OK that I don't understand. In His Word, God tells us not to depend on what we know and since I'm at a place where I don't understand (Honestly I always am, just admitting it this time!) I cannot depend on myself. I must "trust in the Lord with all my heart!"
I don't understand pain, but I know God uses it. I don't understand why bad things happen to good people, but I believe God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. I don't understand why some people have to suffer more than others, but I trust God has plans for each and every one of His children.
Friend, as I process through this, I realize there is something I understand...God uses these moments where I lack understanding to redirect my focus. By admitting I don't understand, I'm acknowledging that I'm not in control and that is necessary if I'm going to recognize that God is the One who is. When I accept that Truth, I'm reminded of many others -
God is good. He is faithful. He is powerful. He is present. He is the beginning and the end. He is my heavenly Father. He is holy. He is righteous. He is love. He is sovereign.
Honestly, these are Truths that I don't always understand, but God's Word contains them, so thus I believe them and trust the One who spoke them. Today will join me in letting go of the desire to understand and simply trust the Lord who says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.” (Isaiah 55:8)
Friend, can I encourage you? When you don't understand, remember that's OK; God does. Go to Him, read His Word, listen for His voice and trust Him with all your heart. We have a choice to dwell on what we don't understand or trust the One with the master plan...pray you will join me in trusting the Lord today!
I don't understand why people get cancer. I don't understand why babies die. I don't understand why bad things always seem to happen at the same time.
I don't understand what I should say to those who are hurting. I don't understand what I should do for those who need Christ, but push Him away. I don't understand how I can teach my kids about God's goodness when they're struggling with their Great Grandma's battle with cancer.
I've spent some time sharing these things with God and as I did He brought a verse to mind. A verse He's used in my life numerous times before and one He had me focusing on just yesterday.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight."
This verse has been powerful in my life, but tonight the phrase that has my attention is: "lean not on your own understanding." The NLT says, "Do not depend on your own understanding." As I reflected on this piece of wisdom from Solomon, I realized it's OK that I don't understand. In His Word, God tells us not to depend on what we know and since I'm at a place where I don't understand (Honestly I always am, just admitting it this time!) I cannot depend on myself. I must "trust in the Lord with all my heart!"
I don't understand pain, but I know God uses it. I don't understand why bad things happen to good people, but I believe God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. I don't understand why some people have to suffer more than others, but I trust God has plans for each and every one of His children.
Friend, as I process through this, I realize there is something I understand...God uses these moments where I lack understanding to redirect my focus. By admitting I don't understand, I'm acknowledging that I'm not in control and that is necessary if I'm going to recognize that God is the One who is. When I accept that Truth, I'm reminded of many others -
God is good. He is faithful. He is powerful. He is present. He is the beginning and the end. He is my heavenly Father. He is holy. He is righteous. He is love. He is sovereign.
Honestly, these are Truths that I don't always understand, but God's Word contains them, so thus I believe them and trust the One who spoke them. Today will join me in letting go of the desire to understand and simply trust the Lord who says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways.” (Isaiah 55:8)
Friend, can I encourage you? When you don't understand, remember that's OK; God does. Go to Him, read His Word, listen for His voice and trust Him with all your heart. We have a choice to dwell on what we don't understand or trust the One with the master plan...pray you will join me in trusting the Lord today!
Lord Almighty,
blessed is the one who trusts in you.
Psalm 84:11
Monday, April 1, 2013
The Labels We Wear
My husband and daughters returned home from a shopping trip...they'd left with the intentions of finding the girls' new Easter dresses. (This was my husband's idea.) They came home with what they were looking for and more. Excitement took over the house when they unveiled the dress they bought for me, the gal who's worn a dress once in the last 12 years. And that was to my wedding.
Needless to say I wasn't part of the excitement - the girls were thrilled, my husband just smiled and my oldest son was insistent that I wear it.
Anyway I decided to humor them and try it on. That's when the situation went from bad to worse. I looked at the tag and it was 3 sizes bigger than I normally wear. Instantly my mind took over, "That's the size he thinks I wear? Our baby's almost two I need to lose some weight." And the final thought that came was, "I am not wearing this dress."
So the next day came and I returned the dress. Knowing my kids were more than excited for me to wear a dress, I did exchange it, but the one I found in my size was different than the one my husband picked out. I really didn't think it was a big deal, but by the following night I knew something was wrong.
I asked my husband what was up and he said, "I don't know why this is bothering me, but it's the dress. And the fact you took it back. I didn't even know you didn't like it." I responded, "Job, I don't wear that size. It's 3 sizes too big!!" In return he says, "I know, but I know you don't like things tight and they looked so small. It looked nice on you."
I listened, but I'm not sure I really heard him. (If you know what I mean?) I simply said, "I'll take it back. Maybe we should just forget the whole thing; it's kind of a waste of money for something I'll never wear again."
Two days later, I took the dress back and thought: I'll be a good wife, buy the original dress, wear it and make everyone happy. Well, everyone but me!
So Easter morning arrives and I still had no desire to wear the dress, but I had 5 little people who were very excited about it!
We headed out the door with everyone smiling and me silently praying, "Lord, help me focus on YOU, forget about this dress and not worry about what everyone will say." And friend, I have to admit He answered my prayer.
Many people shared words about the dress...though no one said it was too BIG or that I looked funny! (Though I sure felt like I did!!) As we left the church yard a good friend said something about the dress and my husband replied, "You mean the one we bought twice?!?"
With that statement God had my attention as He quickly spoke to my heart amongst the chaos of a vehicle filled with 5 energized little people!
He whispered to me, "Jill, you were focusing on the label. That label means nothing...think about the love Job was showing. How about the love others shared as well with their kind words? What about your kids, they have no idea what size you are and they love you."
And then on Resurrection Sunday He continued, "Jill, the size label on your dress doesn't matter to me either. Neither do labels from your past or other people. You are who I say you are - Loved, Forgiven, My Daughter, a Gifted Girl and my Chosen Child. Those are the labels that matter! Today, you celebrate the day I bought you with the blood of My Son...Jill, that's something I only have to do once. My love and forgiveness is not something you can return or exchange, so please accept it. And daughter, do the same with the love your family is showering upon you as well!"
Friend, I don't know if I'll ever wear the dress again, but I don't think I'll ever forget the lesson it taught me. I pray you will join me in letting go of what the labels say and focus on who God says we are!
Needless to say I wasn't part of the excitement - the girls were thrilled, my husband just smiled and my oldest son was insistent that I wear it.
Anyway I decided to humor them and try it on. That's when the situation went from bad to worse. I looked at the tag and it was 3 sizes bigger than I normally wear. Instantly my mind took over, "That's the size he thinks I wear? Our baby's almost two I need to lose some weight." And the final thought that came was, "I am not wearing this dress."
So the next day came and I returned the dress. Knowing my kids were more than excited for me to wear a dress, I did exchange it, but the one I found in my size was different than the one my husband picked out. I really didn't think it was a big deal, but by the following night I knew something was wrong.
I asked my husband what was up and he said, "I don't know why this is bothering me, but it's the dress. And the fact you took it back. I didn't even know you didn't like it." I responded, "Job, I don't wear that size. It's 3 sizes too big!!" In return he says, "I know, but I know you don't like things tight and they looked so small. It looked nice on you."
I listened, but I'm not sure I really heard him. (If you know what I mean?) I simply said, "I'll take it back. Maybe we should just forget the whole thing; it's kind of a waste of money for something I'll never wear again."
Two days later, I took the dress back and thought: I'll be a good wife, buy the original dress, wear it and make everyone happy. Well, everyone but me!
So Easter morning arrives and I still had no desire to wear the dress, but I had 5 little people who were very excited about it!
We headed out the door with everyone smiling and me silently praying, "Lord, help me focus on YOU, forget about this dress and not worry about what everyone will say." And friend, I have to admit He answered my prayer.
Many people shared words about the dress...though no one said it was too BIG or that I looked funny! (Though I sure felt like I did!!) As we left the church yard a good friend said something about the dress and my husband replied, "You mean the one we bought twice?!?"
With that statement God had my attention as He quickly spoke to my heart amongst the chaos of a vehicle filled with 5 energized little people!
He whispered to me, "Jill, you were focusing on the label. That label means nothing...think about the love Job was showing. How about the love others shared as well with their kind words? What about your kids, they have no idea what size you are and they love you."
And then on Resurrection Sunday He continued, "Jill, the size label on your dress doesn't matter to me either. Neither do labels from your past or other people. You are who I say you are - Loved, Forgiven, My Daughter, a Gifted Girl and my Chosen Child. Those are the labels that matter! Today, you celebrate the day I bought you with the blood of My Son...Jill, that's something I only have to do once. My love and forgiveness is not something you can return or exchange, so please accept it. And daughter, do the same with the love your family is showering upon you as well!"
Friend, I don't know if I'll ever wear the dress again, but I don't think I'll ever forget the lesson it taught me. I pray you will join me in letting go of what the labels say and focus on who God says we are!
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| I know you can't see it, but believe me, it's a dress! |
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