Saturday, June 28, 2008

Not Good Enough

In one way or another, how often have I said, "I'm not good enough." I remember as a 4th grader not wanting to go to a basketball camp because I wasn't big enough. As college neared the same thoughts consumed my mind, even though basketball was my life, my mind told me, "You're not good enough to play at the next level." Then as I approached my teaching career the doubt still resided, then as marriage was on the horizon my mind continued to prove doubt hadn't left - "I'm not pretty enough, I'm not deserving to be his wife." As I prepared to take on the role of mom for the first time, the familiar phrase returned. Now as I think about the doubts I'm reminded how it's not just in the big things, but the smaller daily tasks as well.

This reflection creates an interesting thought - as I think about the doubt that has played a big role in my life I'm surprised to think about the one thing I thought I was good enough to do. For quite some time I thought my good attributes and activities would get me into heaven. It amazes me to think about the difference in my thoughts. How could I think I wasn't good enough to play basketball, a simple game, but yet think my actions would be good enough to secure eternal life.

How wrong I was! Even though I was little as a 10 year old, I could play ball and even though my patience is short at time, my husband and children still love me. I can do these tasks, but only because I realized it's not me who's good enough.

My work will never be good enough to earn eternal life, I mess up daily and my mistakes, better known as sin separate me from God. As my creator, He knew this when time began and so created a way that was good enough. He sent His son to live on earth and eventually die on the cross so I could live.

He is good enough and because I've accepted Him as Savior, I am good enough too. Not because of anything I do, but simply because of what He does thru me.

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