31 Days - In the life of my friend...

Intentionally looking for God is a good thing and really opened my eyes to a truth I new, God is everywhere, but a reality I don't like to admit, I haven't always seen Him. Honestly it's been a challenge to narrow my thoughts down to a simple post most days and that is a good thing!! So onto today's post...

The other day I read a devotional that focused on Job 42:5, "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You." Henry Blackaby went on to share how during our trials God will reveal His character in ways we never knew. I have experienced this myself, but as I thought of my friend I saw this verse come to life.

You see Rachel and her family have had quite a year...I'll mention a few of the major things: stitches for their oldest son, her husband had an emergency appendectomy, a miscarriage, a major drought that affected their farm, she had her gallbladder removed and now their youngest son fractured his leg. She's still a longs ways from the suffering we read about in the book of Job, but that's a list of events I wouldn't want to experience in 10 months. How about you?

Now many might read this (or think about your own struggles) and wonder, "How can she see God in this?" Friend, there's a time I would have asked the same thing, but honestly as I've shared this journey with my friend I have seen God in it all. And I know Rachel has as well. I can't speak for her, but I'd like to share a few observations of my own:

1) Daily in my own life I'm reminded that I am not in control, but some of these major struggles have really solidified that fact. Seeing God in Rachel's life reminds me that Proverbs 19:21 is true - "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails."

2) Worry does us no good, but there is power in prayer. I'm not saying Rachel hasn't worried...I have to believe every Mom does that at least once, but she has prayed and asked for prayer. I have watched God answer prayers and work through them. He has provided, sustained and comforted. Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Rachel can vow for this, but she also knows the importance of 1 Thessalonians 5:17 - "Pray without ceasing!!"

3)  One of my favorite passages is Romans 5:3-5, "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love  has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Though I don't believe Rachel would have chosen the events that unfolded this year she has endured them. Because of that I have seen God at work and I know she has as well. Trials are never the way we'd chose to see God, but often it's a way He uses to reveal Himself to us. When we come to the end of ourselves, our patience, our ability...He shows up and He shapes us in the process. He's developing character in us to make us who He created us to be. When times are tough, we are able to see our God, a God who is stronger than any trouble that may come our way.

I share these things with a bit of hesitancy because I'd guess there were days when these thoughts and truths weren't the first thing on Rachel's mind. And I know the trials, injuries and illness won't always be part of my friend's life...someday I might have a year like her's. It is then in the dark that I must remember to hold on to what God has shown me in the light.

I'm praying this rollercoaster year will soon come to an end for my friend, but I'm thankful God has opened my eyes to see Him in it!! I hope you've caught a glimpse of Him here as well!! And if you want to read a firsthand account of Rachel's story check out her blog by clicking HERE!!

On a side note thanks to all those who left comments last week!! The winner of Wendy Blight's book is Rachel...I'll be contacting you!!

Scripture for Sunday

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. 

Hebrews 12:1-3

31 Days - Time for a trim

Once again another week is coming to a close and I'm doing another flashback Friday. This time I've gone back nearly two years and pulled out a post that still comes back to me from time to time and one that fits in well with my "Seeing God" series.

From November 19, 2010 -

Time for a Trim

Over the last few weeks God has really been working on my heart to slow down...as a wife, Mom, homeschooler, MOPS leader and member of a women's ministry team I have been busy. And last week we added illness to the mix - then things were messy and I was tired. But as I sat up in the wee hours trying to comfort my little man, God worked to do the same with me.

You see He'd been "messing" with me - in a good way, but yet it was hard. So I sat there crying out to Him, "God what do you want me to do?"

And then a picture of my little Joy came to mind and I saw myself trimming her bangs - now initially I thought, Jill focus and honestly I did not know why my mind was thinking of this. But then the picture changed, I saw her face in a new way - a better way, a more complete way and then God said to me, "Jill, if you cut back in your life you will see me better too."

Wow!! I'm still not sure what He will be trimming from my life, but I'm willing to let Him and I look forward to seeing more clearly and am excited to see HIM in bigger and better ways!

How about you, "Is it time for a trim?" I think of my little Joy again and this is never something she chooses to do. In her words, "It feels funny. I want to play instead." I know I've said similar things, "But God it hurts. It's change. I want to..." Just like I know what's best for my little girl, God knows and wants what's best for me, and you.

So today will you join me in handing him the scissors and simply being still so He can do what He needs to do? 

This mind picture is one that has never faded away...at that time in my life God did some major trimming. I won't lie it was hard and took some adjusting, but the view it led to was beautiful. Friends, if God is asking you to step into the ultimate barber's chair can I encourage you to do it!! Your life may look different, but trust me you will SEE Him more!!

Has God ever given you a trim? I'd love to hear how it helped you see! Remember your comment enters you in a drawing for Wendy Blight's book "Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner." 

31 Days - In my husband...

Yesterday I wrote about seeing God in my children and today I want to share about seeing God in my husband. We're celebrating his birthday today, but I'm thankful for his presence in my life everyday.

It's hard to believe we've been married for over 11 years and have known one another for over 20! My relationship with Job is one that caused my relationship with Jesus to grow. We started dating shortly after I had given my life to Christ and much of what I've learned and the habits I've created are because of what he's taught me and the life I've watched him live.

He is a man who seeks Jesus and one who shows me God. In honor of his 3+ decades I'm going to share 3 ways I see God in him...

Sometimes I look at my life and marvel at the things God's allowed me to do, but the thing is I know I wouldn't have stepped out in obedience without Job first believing in me. He'd never want to be known as a cheerleader, but he's my biggest one!! When he expresses the confidence he has in me, I'm reminded God feels the same way. I'm praying God will allow you to see His belief in you today!!

Job is one of the most generous people I know...he is constantly sharing with someone in need. It doesn't matter if it's encouragement, finances, a meal or a friendly smile; if he can help someone out he will. Friends to me that is a picture of God - "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." 1 Peter 5:7

Last but not least, Job is an honest and loving guy. He says what he means and he does things the right way. He disciplines our children, but he does it in such a gentle, yet powerful way. He tells me the truth, but he speaks it in love. Jesus (God) is the TRUTH (John 14:6) and He is LOVE! (1 John 4:8)

Friends, I am grateful my husband gives me a picture of God and gives my children a glimpse of their heavenly Father! 

But my prayer for you today is that you will see God! God the one who believes in you, gives you what you need and loves you in the most amazing way. He is real and He's waiting for you to find Him today!! 

I would love for you to share what you see...remember a comment from this week's post will win a copy of Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner! You will see God on the pages of the book!!

31 Days - In my children

I find it kind of funny that yesterday I wrote a bit about being unglued as a Mom and today I'm going to share about seeing God in my children. This past Sunday our pastor was preaching on Matthew 7:12, which says, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." This is where we get the "golden rule", but as he dug into this deeper we found there is a lot in this verse...it's not always as simple as it sounds.

Anyway he challenged us to think about how we are doing with this concept and encouraged us to ask those we love the most. So I did this...even though God was already convicting me of somethings I needed to change as a Mom. I expected my children to be honest with me and figured I might get a response similar to "you could do better Mom" or "Part good, but sometimes bad!"

Actually I didn't just expect that...I knew I didn't deserve a real great evaluation. So I was a bit surprised after I spoke with my oldest 2 children. I talked with each of them individually and they both answered my question with these words, "Pretty good Mom."

I've been reflecting on this and as I do, I see God in my children. They are giving me grace. They are quick to forgive. They love me for who I am not because of what I do or do not do. And friend God does the same. Only He does it perfectly.

Through my children God has helped me see Him as a forgiver...is there something you need Him to forgive you for? Go to Him today and share the sin. Friend, He knows we're not perfect, but He loves us and wants to forgive us and free us. 

Psalm 130:3,4 says, "If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you." Today won't you let Him forgive you so you can serve Him?

Question for you - How have you seen God today? If you're a parent how have you seen God in your children? Remember all the comments from this week serve as a chance to win "Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner" by Wendy Blight where you will learn more about the freedom forgiveness offers.

31 Days - Seeing God in and because of a Conference Call

It's Monday night and I'm writing Tuesday's post because I have to share how God showed up big tonight. So big, I'm not sure how to put this all together, but I'll try, so please bear with me.

Tonight I had the privilege of being part of a conference call for Melissa Taylor's online study of Unglued. Wendy Blight was the guest and her message was one God knew I needed to hear. She was focusing on being an unglued parent.

My starting five on Mother's Day!

Now when I tell you I'm the homeschooling parent of 5 children who are odd (that was our discovery today - since Jed turned 3 on Friday I now have a 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9 year old) you might realize there's the potential for unglued moments in our day. But if you were to ask some of my friends or people who know me, I'm guessing the last word they'd use to describe me would be exploder. I can recall the comment I heard the most as a former teacher (junior high of all things), "You are the most patient teacher my kids have ever had."

Let's just say my husband cannot say that about the woman who teaches his children day after day. And the thing is, he hasn't really even seen me snap at them. So what's changed? Home-school vs public, Elementary vs Junior High, My children vs My students, Me? Lots of things really, but since I only have control over myself that is where I must look to make improvements.

Before improvements can be made I must confess something isn't right. This isn't an easy thing to put out there, but God already knows - Psalms 90:8 says, "You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence." He's seen me snap at the ones I love the most, He's heard me use words that hurt their heart (and His) and He knows I've regretted reacting wrongly, said I'm sorry but then did it all again. He knows and now you do too, but that's OK.

Tonight I truly believe He's taken me from a place of condemnation to a place of conviction. It's no longer about me trying to work harder and get this Mom thing right it's about turning to Him faster and being a daughter who relies on her Father. He is the one who does the Mom thing right. 

I was blessed to meet Wendy this summer...a real woman of God!

Friend, I'm seeing God in all of this and I pray you are too! You see as Wendy, gentle, kind, loving Wendy shared her story tears fell from my eyes, but God spoke to my heart. From my perspective, I've observed a wonderful relationship between Wendy and her college daughter, but to rewind and see how things were years ago that gave me hope. If God can do that for her...I know He can do it for me.

The call ended...a bit early for me, my 3 year old dropped my phone and it died, but I didn't explode!! As we prepared for bed I was eager to begin applying what Wendy had taught us...I was going to pray, dig into the Word and begin filling myself with Truth.

But God had other plans...we started in with the bedtime routine and I found myself laying next to Joy. I started what I thought to be a quick prayer, but God intended to be a cleansing of the heart. The spirit had been stirring my heart and I began pouring it out...this put Jed to sleep, but left a look of concern on Joy's face. 

This opened the door for a mother and daughter heart to heart complete with tears and laughs, apologies and forgiveness. A precious and powerful time.

I came downstairs with much on my heart and a house that was quiet. The thought, "I should write my blog post for tomorrow" crossed my mind, but then I recalled words from the call, "Go to Him first." So I opened my prayer journal and poured from a heart I thought was empty. 

As soon as it was empty God led me to His Word so He could fill it. He took me to places I didn't expect, but shared passages I needed to hear. The journey began in Psalms with the verse I quoted above and then led to Psalm 51, specifically verses 10 - 12, "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit  from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." 

These are words I recited every week in church as a child, but ones I didn't realize came from the Word until I was an adult. Words that are now the prayer of my heart!! I want a heart that's pure, I need His Spirit in me and I desire a spirit that is willing even when my children are not!

My walk thru the Word took another change of direction and I ended up at 1 Samuel 28. Here Saul inquires of the medium at Endor after he had expelled them from the land. The point God made to me here is: an unchanged heart is going to return to sin. I have been down that road and I don't want to return. 

Friend, it's not enough to acknowledge the problem and say we want to change, we have to do the work. Like I tell my kids, work usually isn't easy, but it is necessary. And when God is the One we are working for the effort is worth it and the results are eternal. 

I'll close with two verses I plan to enthrone on my heart and I'd love for you to share one of your own! Leave a comment and be entered to win a copy of Wendy Blight's amazing book, "Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner." Believe me God speaks thru this book!! I will draw a winner from all of this week's comments and announce the winner on Monday!

Two verses I know I need and trust He'll use - 

Proverbs 19:11 - A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.

Proverbs 16:32 -  Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.

31 Days - In my life...

The other night I had a visit with a friend, one in which she shared about her day. A day a big event was held, Truth was spoken, women were encouraged, hearts were touched and God was glorified. The event she was referring to was one I've attended for the last 3 years, one I helped organize in its first 2 years and one God put on my heart many years ago.

The praise reports she shared were powerful and I was grateful, but part of me was sad...sad I couldn't be there. Disappointed I couldn't see some of the women I've come to know thru the years. As these feelings of disappointment and sadness rose to the surface I began to question if I'd heard wrong.

You see I'd been praying about attending over the last few months, but the door never opened. As my friend's excitement and enthusiasm came thru the phone I thought, "Maybe I was supposed to be there."

I put all this thinking aside and listened to my friend share. We went on to have a wonderful conversation - one that truly blessed me. It left me reflecting about so many things and helped me see God in a few different ways.

One, I saw God in my past...this conversation stirred up memories from years ago when God led me to step out and do what seemed crazy. Though I thought it was impossible, He has shown me HE is the GOD of possible!!

Two, I saw God in the "No's"...not always a fun place to be - saying no or hearing no, but God is in it. He knew where I needed to be on Saturday. Two years ago He knew I needed to say, "No" and step away from the Rise and Shine leadership team. But He's also reminded me when I say "No" to one thing, I'm freeing myself up to say, "Yes" to God's thing.

Which leads me to three, I saw God in my friendship...though the retreat would have been a blessing and He would have used it in my life, the phone call and heart to heart with my friend was what I needed and where I saw Him.

Friend, can I encourage you today - sometimes we have to say "no" to what is good so we can experience what is God's best.

And God, the one who was part of your past, wants you to see Him today and trust Him with the plans He has for your tomorrow!!

On a side note - Kimberly is the winner of Letters from Leanne - I pray you will see God's story as you read mine!!