Sunday, October 14, 2012

31 Days - Sunday Scripture

May these words  
of my mouth 
and this meditation of my heart 
be pleasing in your sight, 
 LORD, 
my Rock and my Redeemer. 
Psalm 19:14

Saturday, October 13, 2012

31 Days - In the details...

Yesterday our little guy celebrated his 3rd birthday and everyone in the family was excited for this special day. I saw glimpses of God from morning to night and today I want to share one of them.

Little Jaylyn was up early and wanted to help prepare the traditional birthday breakfast. She put a balloon on the back of her little brother's chair, helped mix the pancakes and began setting the table.

I'd handed her a stack of plates and she began putting them on everyone's place; before she set Jed's down she held it up for me to see. In her soft little voice she said, "Look Mom, I'm giving Jed the heart plate because it's his birthday and we want him to know we love him."

I'm not sure my new 3 year old picked up on that or even saw the heart on his plate, but I saw God in the whole situation. I was touched by Jaylyn's compassion and then reminded of God's attention to detail.

He whispered to my heart, "You are impressed with a 5 year old's ability to select a certain plate, but remember I know the number of hairs on your head." (Luke 12:7) He also knows the plans He has for me. And friend those aren't just the BIG plans...He knows it ALL.

But sometimes, actually more times than I want to admit or even realize, I'm like my son. The little boy who was so busy this morning and focused on everything but the plate that was in front of him, that he doesn't even see the love someone is trying to pour out on him. And if that hadn't blinded him, the pancakes covered with syrup and whip cream would have.

I too can pile my plate so full of that I don't even know what's on it and distractions can make me lose focus in a real hurry. Sometimes I miss God in the details. Friend, I don't know about you, but today I want to slow down and see God placing the heart plate in front of me!!

Friday, October 12, 2012

31 Days - Flashback Friday

It's Friday once again, a special one in our house as our little Jed man turns 3!! The big day has me reflecting so the post I'm going to share is from days after his arrival. But first a couple pics - our precious little baby boy and one of my happy, energetic little man and then a story of the hope God brings!!

Jedidiah Jay Beran - A Few Hours Old
Our little clown - 3 Years Old

From October 17, 2009 -

Something I've waited to share...
This past June 20th, I sat alone at the computer and put these words together, but have waited until now to share them with you. It's a glimpse at how God has worked in my life and shown himself real. There are certainly times when life seems to make no sense and moments when His plan seems far from perfect, but He is present and He is working. While He does just that He never asks for me to figure things out (though all too often I try), He simply wants me to seek Him, trust Him and never lose my hope in Him.

So with that here's my story of "Hope"...

Last August we experienced a miscarriage – pain and loss you never understand until you’re in the midst of it yourself. I only knew I was pregnant for 15 days – doesn’t seem long, but once you’ve connected with a child it is a bond you share for life. I never felt the baby move, saw her face or heard her voice, but yet the baby is mine.

The days following the loss were difficult; tears would come in ways I never expected. I’d see a baby toy and wonder if we’d ever need that again, I’d look at the kids’ pictures on the wall and realize I wouldn’t need to rearrange them 9 months down the road, and once my 3 year old asked me to read a book and handed me one titled, “We’ve Lost our Baby.” She didn’t understand why it made me cry.

During the time of sadness there was also strength, not mine, but God’s. He lifted me up in ways I hadn’t experienced. The loss was real, but His comfort was too. In this difficult time, I experienced a side of God I never had before. Even when I wasn’t seeking Him, He was holding me. When the hurt created questions and caused me to push away, He drew me close.

Looking back it’s still hard to understand and thinking about our little one who should now be 2 months old still brings tears. But God’s word is true, He has a plan and it’s one for good. Now I would never say losing a child is good, but what God did through the experience has been.
He made Himself real and proved His word to be true. He worked through others and lifted me up. He reminded me why we have hope and how heaven is real.

And nearly 6 months following, He unexpectedly blessed me with another pregnancy. Early on the fears returned, what if I lost this baby too? That wasn’t a road I wanted to walk again.

As our pregnancy reached the 6-week mark, thoughts turned to the baby who should have been born in 6 weeks and feelings of joy turned to ones of guilt. I really struggled with God’s ability to give and take away. I rejoiced for the baby to come, but felt like I was forgetting the one who already was.

Time went on and God continued to walk me through this journey we call life. I would cry and He’d dry the tears. I would question and He would answer. He assured me my pain was OK, the loss was real and He knew, He’d lost a child too.

So as the pregnancy progressed I found myself thinking about names. And as a family of all J’s, thoughts started there. Janelle, Judson, Jordan, Jace, Jared, Julie…the list went on, but I always came back to Jenae. I’m not sure why, but it seemed to be the name God had for our little one.


Eventually I looked into the meaning of the name and found it to be, “God has given.” Since this wasn’t a baby we had “planned” (are any?), I thought the name fit.

Then it was time to move on to the middle name and instantly Jenae Hope entered my world. It made sense - God has given hope, and what a gift that is!!

My husband still wasn’t sold on the name; he claimed it sounded too much like one of the other girl’s. I assured him all names that start with J would be similar. We continued to discuss possibilities and had plenty of input from the little one’s older siblings, but still without even knowing the sex of our baby I was sure we had a little Jenae Hope Beran.

Well that confidence only lasted to the halfway point of our pregnancy. We had always waited for the Dr. to announce the baby’s sex in the delivery room, but this time my curiosity surprised me.

At the completion of our ultrasound, the radiologist handed me an envelope with the answer to my question. I waited awhile, but eventually took a peak and pledged to a 20-week secret – it was a boy!

I wasn’t totally surprised as there had been similarities in the pregnancy with that of our other son, but because of the name, it seemed God had given, I was prepared for a girl. I can remember thinking, “What about Jenae?”

And though I didn’t hear God’s voice, it was as if He said, “I’m already holding her.” And then there was peace – it all made sense - that name was on my heart during the time she should have been born. I thought I was naming baby number 5, but God knew it was number 4.

The name doesn’t make it any easier; actually it brings the tears right back. But I’m learning that’s OK, though her life was short, her presence was real and the pain is too. She’s one I won’t hold until heaven, but I’m thankful for her life and that I know her name. I’m also grateful God has given us His hope! Mommy loves you little Jenae Hope Beran.

 
Friend, it was good for me to revisit this story and I hope the words have blessed you as well. May we always look to see God! Today as we celebrate Jed's birthday I thank God for him and I realize our precious little man wouldn't be here without God's perfect plan.

So today, how have you seen God? Remember all comments from this week's post are entered to win a copy of "Letters from Leanne".
 

Thursday, October 11, 2012

31 Days - God is Love

Last night we attended parent's night at AWANA's and I saw God. His presence was obvious and I pray His spirit was at work!

God is Love - this point is made twice in 1 John 4. Verse 8 tells us, "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." And verse 16 states, "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them."

As I watched leaders interact with my children and the other 70+ kids in the building, it was clear God was working thru these individuals. Whether it was a gentle touch, an encouraging word or heartfelt prayer God was there. 

It wasn't just the things they did or said, but the heart they did them with...these leaders, men and women who'd had a busy day, maybe even a bad day, were patient and joyful, understanding and loving. Even when some of the little people were distracted, unprepared or misbehaved.

I watched the evening unfold and was reminded that sometimes I'm like the little AWANA students - I lose focus, sometimes I put off what I need to do and there are moments I don't live or think like a follower of Christ should.

But God...He is a leader who loves. He's gentle and patient. He wraps His loving arms around me. He understands I too am a child, one prone to mess up, but He loves me anyway. And friend the same is true for you!!

The AWANA leaders mission is to fill the young people under their care with the Word and though I'm an adult, God desires the same for me. He wants me to saturate myself with the Truth. 

During counsel time, the AWANA leader shared how God's Word is like a compass, it gives us direction and points us to God. And I'd have to add it tells me of His promises, one that reminds me I am LOVED.

So thankful I saw my loving God last night and I pray you not only see Him today, but feel His loving touch as well!!

This post is part of my 31 Days of Seeing God series...you can find all the posts HERE.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

31 Days - Sometimes I'm surprised...

The title of this post says, "Sometimes I'm surprised," but honestly I'll have to say often times I don't see what's coming. That's the case with this post, it wasn't one I predicted when the month began, but it's the one my eyes were open to last night.

Perhaps it will surprise you too, but my prayer is that it will encourage you and maybe even open your eyes to a surprise of your own. This wasn't a sighting of God I was looking for...you know like you might do when you take a walk on a beautiful fall day or watch the sunset on the horizon. But still I trust it was the answer to my daily prayer, "Lord help me see you!"

Last night our new Bible study began, a study of Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst, a study I am leading. Maybe I should stop here...the fact that I'm leading a Bible study should be evidence of the presence and power of God.

Chances are though that you don't know me as well as I know myself...you see 13 years ago, I hadn't given my life to Christ so the thought of even attending a Bible study was crazy. Fast forward 3 years and I was a young mom, who finally accepted an invitation to a MOPS meeting, but even a year into it I rarely shared more than my name and the ages of my children.

Over the last few years, I've taken steps out of my comfort zone...became the coordinator of a new MOPS group in our church, facilitated a few Bible studies and helped organize 3 women's retreats.

These facts alone allow me to see God...the power He's used to change me, work in and thru me is amazing and could only be Him. But last night I was reminded that He's still at work and if I keep looking and allowing Him to melt and mold me, He will.

As our study came to a close, He really put on my heart that I wasn't simply facilitating this study. You see that's been my role of choice...kind of my easy, safe way to step into leadership. I could handle the crowd control and found myself willing to ask the questions, so I didn't have to answer them. Honestly at times that's what we need to do, but last night as I was looking for God, I heard Him.

He'd been impressing on my heart that I was leading this study and He'd given me a group I was responsible for and then as one of our gals closed our evening in prayer He provided confirmation. She prayed for me and asked God to strengthen and bless me as I taught this study.

Friend, I saw God. Again I was surprised, but it was good and needed. I want to encourage you today to look back over your life, look for His hand. Where has He brought you from? As I reflect on the power He's displayed in my life, I trust that I will see Him again and I believe He can do what comes next. I hope and pray you can say the same!!

I want to close with the reminder that really this month what I'm looking for is to see Him high and lifted up; friend as we allow Him to do what we never could that will happen!!

Now to him who is able  to do immeasurably more 
than all we ask or imagine, 
according to his power that is at work within us,   
to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus 
throughout all generations, for ever and ever! 
Ephesians 3:20-21

I'd love to hear your story and I encourage you to share it for His glory!!

Just a reminder - I'm giving away a copy of my book, Letters from Leanne - The Beauty of a Spiritual Mother-Daughter Relationship. Truly I never expected to write a book, but God was part of it and did it. So today, share a sighting of God...perhaps one that surprised you. Leave a comment on the posts throughout the week to increase your chances. I'll share the winner on Saturday!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

31 Days - Where I least expect...

Cleaning is not my favorite thing and with 5 little people in my house I'll be honest, dusting isn't something I often do! So today I was surprised when I saw God where I never expected to find Him!

I was in the process of putting something away in a cupboard I hadn't used for awhile. A cupboard that was covered with a layer of dust and may have enclosed a cobweb or two. I was struck how I walk by this place in our home daily, but still I was blinded to the dirt that was there.

As I'm beginning to get down on myself for being a terrible keeper of the home, my thoughts shifted. God used this to remind me of truth. Remember I'm on a 31 day journey of seeing God...I've intentionally been looking for Him and I've been blessed by what I've found.

I looked at the mess that had accumulated over time, one that was a result of laziness, busyiness and neglect and God spoke to my heart. He whispered, "Though you didn't see the dust over the last few weeks...it's been there. Daughter in the same way, there may be times you don't see me, but child I am always here."

Friend, right now I'm being intentional in looking for Him, I'm being diligent in spending time with Him and I'm not allowing the busyness of life distract me from Him. But that's not always been the case and though I hate to admit it, it could happen again. Though the things I do may change as will the situations around me and the circumstances of my life, but God NEVER does.

He is present in my life today! And yours too! Whether you see Him or not.

But today can I encourage you to look for Him...you might just find Him where you least expect!

Remember:   
Jesus Christ is 
the same yesterday, 
today, 
and forever. 
(Hebrews 13:8)

In honor of this reality, the fact that sometimes we see God where we don't expect...I'm giving away a copy of my book, Letters from Leanne - The Beauty of a Spiritual Mother-Daughter Relationship. Truly I never expected to write a book, but God was part of it and did it. So today, share a sighting of God...perhaps one you didn't expect to be entered to win. Leave a comment on the posts throughout the week to increase your chances. I'll share the winner on Saturday!

Monday, October 8, 2012

31 Days - What am I looking for?

Typically I am not a visual person. I've always loved sunsets, but aside from that I really didn't notice the beauty of the world around me very often. Honestly that's one of the reasons I think God put this series on my heart...I've often heard from Him, but looking for Him with my eyes hasn't always been the case.

After 7 days of praying, "God help me to see you today" I've been amazed at how I am seeing the beauty that surrounds me in so many different ways and places. For instance, last week my kids brought home about 30 pumpkins and you want to know my initial thought? The first thing that crossed my mind - here's one more thing sitting around that eventually we'll have to clean up.

Then a few days later I'm visiting with a friend and she is seeing God as she looks at the pumpkins. She shares things like, "I just love looking at all the different pumpkins. Their shape and size, it's just amazing how God does that." That is so true and I've missed so much by not looking for Him in the world around me.

I'm grateful He's using this journey to change that...this past weekend I was driving and found myself praising God as I observed the changing colors, falling leaves and beautiful sky.

At the same time, I was listening...the way I often experience God, and heard a song I've heard numerous times over the years. A line in the song really hit me. The song was "Open the Eyes of My Heart" perhaps you've heard it and sang it yourself.

The words that caught my attention were: "I want to see You." The music continued but my mind paused as I thought that's right, I do, I want to SEE Him.

Then I started listening again and heard Micheal W. Smith say, "To see You high and lifted up. Shining in the light of your glory." That is it friend, that is what we are looking for!

The thing is we can see that glory in nature; like my friend said, "God didn't have to make the trees different or the leaves change colors, but He did." And friend, He doesn't have to glorify Himself thru us, but He can! Perhaps someone out there is needing to see God, won't you let Him work thru you so they can see Him?!

Today I ask you: What are you looking for? Are you waiting to see a beautiful sunset? Or that perfect smile on your child's face? Don't simply look for something that is worthy of a picture, but instead open your eyes to see the ONE who is worthy of our praise!!

He is there...seek Him...pray and ask Him to open the eyes of your heart...be blessed by His glory!!