Have you ever been noticed?

Have you ever been knee deep in laundry while constantly changing diapers and cleaning up endless messes? I have. Have you ever done the daily monotonous tasks and wonder if it really even makes a difference? Me too. Have you ever been the friend (or parent or spouse) investing in a relationship and wonder if she (or he) even knows the time and energy you devote? Been there too.

Actually, I was there the other day and God brought to mind a story from this summer. Back in July, I attended the Proverbs 31 She Speaks conference and I was blessed by numerous speakers. Every session I attended could have easily been the keynote speech at other conferences, so you might be surprised when I tell you about one of the times God spoke the loudest.

Saturday afternoon, Lysa TerKeurst had a book signing and I'd picked up a copy of UNGLUED for a friend, so thought I'd surprise her with a personal note from Lysa. I didn't realize God had a personal message for me!

I handed Lysa the book and she said, "Hi. I saw you at breakfast, but didn't get a chance to say hello. How are you? How are all your kids?" I answered her questions, but honestly I was surprised. I was thinking, she remembers me? You see, two years ago I was part of a leadership team that invited Lysa to speak at our retreat, but there are countless other women who've done the same thing. I honestly didn't expect her to remember me.

As our conversation came to a close, I found myself replaying her words. Now if this would have happened five years ago, I would have been star struck with the whole situation, but this time that wasn't a big deal. I just saw further evidence that Lysa is the real deal.

Though that is the truth it's not the point of this post...you see as I reflected on the words she shared, God whispered to my heart, "Jill, I see you too." Friend, at that moment I can't explain the peace those words brought to me. I was in a room with 650 other women who love Him, serve Him and want His attention. I'm not sure how your mind works, but at times mine can wonder. Does what I do really matter? Does He even see what I'm doing? This summer in North Carolina God reminded He sees me and my efforts do matter. Friend, I hope and pray you hear Him whispering the same to you!

Perhaps a national speaker has noticed you, but the only ONE who matters sees you right now!! That my friend is a BIG deal because God, our Father, our Creator and our Lord is the real deal!! So whether you are in the midst of hundreds doing what you do or by yourself doing what will all too quickly be undone trust me on this - HE sees and it matters!

Something to think about - How does knowing God sees you affect your thoughts and/or actions?

A Critical Question

In a recent post, I shared about a time when I asked the question, "Seriously God?" It was during a time of pain and loss, but lately I've been thinking about a time when I uttered these words from a state of disbelief.

Thirteen years ago, I was a second year teacher living my dream...well, that's what it looked like on the outside. I was doing what I set out to do, but I was lonely, empty and depressed. At times it felt my purpose in life was to survive the day, only to wake up and do it again.

That strategy worked until I got to the place where I didn't want to do it again...13 years ago this month, I contemplated ending it all. I had a plan, but thankfully God had a different one.

Had my plan unfolded, I would be in a place of darkness F-O-R-E-V-E-R. You see prior to that Tuesday night in September I was a church go-er, I'd been baptized and I thought I was good enough to get to heaven.

But God, He knew. He knew I was a lost soul in need of a Savior. I was a religious girl who longed for a relationship. He didn't just know about my life, He worked in it. In ways that are too many for this post, but that have brought me to this place. This place of reflecting on "Seriously God?" moments of my life.

"Seriously God, I'm not good enough to get to heaven?" Now that question makes me shake my head, but there was a time when the reality of those words hit. HARD.

Growing up I was the good girl. Granted I made mistakes and wasn't perfect, but certainly my good outweighed the bad. I honestly thought I'd work my way to heaven.

That was until life (God) brought me to my knees, removed the scales from my eyes and helped me see the truth.

“There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.^{" Romans 3:10-12}

Now God didn't put this specific verse in front of my eyes, but He did speak the truth of it to me. No one is good enough to get to heaven, that includes me and you.

For awhile that scared me..."Seriously God, I mean if I'm not good enough, how can I assure myself I won't spend eternity in hell?"

It was then He brought Ephesians 2:8-9 to me; here Paul says, "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast."

God answered my question and invited me to accept the gift He has given. And friend today if these words have left you uttering the same ones, the ones that say, "Seriously God, I'm not good enough to get to heaven?" He wants to say the same to you...He is offering you the free gift of salvation as well!!

How do you receive it you may wonder - again, Paul has the answer, "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9)

This seriously God question is a critical one...I pray you will answer it today!! It will change your life forever and save it for eternity!! If you have any questions, concerns or prayer requests leave a comment or send me an email - jillberan@yahoo.com. If you have a friend who believes what I once did, I encourage you to visit with them today!!

Praying for you in your "Seriously God?" moments!! Would love your prayers as I journey through mine as well!!

And the winner is...

The winner of Seriously God? - I'm Doing Everything I Know to Do and It's Not Working by Jenny Smith is Brooke S. who left a comment via Facebook! I will be contacting you! Thanks to all for sharing your thoughts!

Pray you are all trusting Him in the seriously God moments of your day!!!

Seriously God? and a GIVE-AWAY (Take 2)

Just over a month ago, I shared a post with the same title! (You can read it HERE.) That post led to comments about a book with the same title, Seriously God? by Jenny Smith. Which has now led to the this post, one that will close with your opportunity to win a copy of Jen's book for yourself.

Early in August, Jen contacted me and offered to give me a copy of her book since I'd asked the same question and she graciously offered a copy for me to give-away as well. I told her I'd do it towards the end of the month...so here we are!

"Seriously God?" is a thought that runs through my mind quite often...sometimes it is accompanied with excitement, others anxiety, but today I want to share a time when those words were spoken with tears.

Four years ago today, I found myself in a Dr.'s office so he could confirm what I already knew - we were losing our fourth child. I was having a miscarriage. I would never hold the child I'd already come to love.

There were tears, lots of tears. There was pain - physical, emotional and spiritual as well. And anger and things I didn't understand.

Still, I think I can replay a conversation, "Seriously God, you create me to love the life that's growing in me, only to take it away? Seriously God, why? Why does it hurt so much? Seriously God, this is the plan you have for me? Seriously God, you expect me to walk thru this hurt when so many don't understand?"

There were lots of bad things, feelings and emotions, but there was also peace, comfort and strength.

"Seriously God, she just shows up with a meal? Seriously God, heaven is for real and my baby is there!! Seriously God, I'm the one with the loss, but you've comforted me so I can comfort others."

Now four years later, I find myself thinking those same two words, "Seriously God." That can be a question, but you know it's also quite the statement!

Friend, I'm serious when I say God has brought me to a place where I can face the anniversary of one of the hardest times of my life and say, "God had a purpose for it all." Exactly all that purpose entails? I don't know, but He has given me bits and pieces. And honestly, I trust Him with the rest.

That's not saying I won't grieve the little one we lost, but I will thank Him for the 5 kiddos I will squeeze a little tighter today!

So friend, how about you, have you ever asked the same question? Share about it in the comments...I love to hear your stories and it enters you to win a copy of Seriously God? - I'm Doing Everything I Know to Do and It's Not Working. Remember be sure to leave your email address so I can contact you if you win!! Check back on Tuesday when the winner will be announced!

I'm praying you are blessed in whatever SERIOUSLY GOD? situation arises in your life today!!

More from the mess...

The other day I shared about a job I didn't want to do (you can read more by clicking HERE) - the quick version of the story is this: my potty training son had a mess in his pants and I didn't want to clean it up. Ever been there?

As I was in the process I was reminded I'm a mess and Jesus cleans me up...such a powerful truth!!

Son now more from the mess -

I was about to finish the job I didn't want to do and caught a glimpse of my little guy's grin, one that always melts my heart, so I gave him a hug, told him I loved him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

So what did my little guy do? He smirked, shared a quick giggle and wiped away my kiss. Right now that's the fun little thing he does; but as I watched him, God told me, "Jill, you do the same thing."

"I clean up your mess and show you I love you. Then I tell you you're beautiful and wrap my arms around you and what do you do? You push me away."

Friend, have you been there? You know God does wonderful things for you, but you don't feel worthy of receiving them? Or you confess your sin and then believe satan's lie that once God sees your mess He'll want nothing to do with you. Do you push Him away?

Can I encourage you today...as a parent who cleans up my children's messes D-A-I-L-Y, I still love them. Their messes remind me they need me. Friend, God is the perfect parent, the One who created us...He knows our mess and sees it (sometimes before we even do) and He loves you and me! And because of these messes, ones we can't clean up on our own, He knows we need Him!

So, today would you embrace Him? Allow His love to fill you instead of wiping His kisses away!

I didn't want to do it!

I'm beginning to see a theme - in my last post I wrote about being a mess and in this one I'm going to share about cleaning one up.

Earlier today, my 2 year old son came into the house and he'd obviously messed his pants. He's been potty training, but over the last few weeks has went without any accidents, so I'd thought I was past this fun task for awhile!

Not so much...I set my agenda aside and went into the bathroom to do something I really didn't want to do! It was a mess and cleaning it up really wasn't on my list for the day. But you know, it wasn't on anyone else's list either, so I did what every Mom does and cleaned it up.

As I was doing the dirty work and honestly thinking, I really don't want to do this; I was reminded of my previous post - I too am a MESS and somebody has to clean me up.

Wow, did that put things in perspective!

Take a minute and look at Luke 22:42, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” In my mind, I can translate Jesus opening words to sound just like mine - going to the cross was really something He didn't want to do. Yet how did He close His prayer? Jesus was all about God's will not His own.

Now cleaning up a dirty, stinky two year does not compare to Jesus death on the cross, but (though I hate to say it) there are endless comparisons between by my son and me - there's dirt in my past and my sin stinks! Could you say the same?

I pray you do because honesty is how we deal with the mess; we can't clean it up if we don't admit it's there. Friend, though I didn't want to clean up my son - I did. I love him and as his mom I was created to take care of him! In the same way, Jesus didn't want to clean up our sin by dying on the cross, but He did. He loves us and was created to take care of us!

He was also created to do the work His Father called Him to and so are we...so what's on your "I don't want to do it list" today? Follow Jesus's example and do the work He calls you to!!

I'm a...

How would you complete the above statement? I asked some friends and there were numerous responses...many that did not surprise me. I heard, "I'm a Mom, friend, daughter, disciple, sinner, writer, coach, teacher, wife..." There were many roles shared that I play, but I'll be honest the last couple of days the word that best completes the statement for me is: MESS!

It's true, I am a MESS!

Does that surprise you? I am afraid it might and that's not a good thing. But I know I'm one who's quick with the "I'm fine" response and I often find myself saying "things are going pretty good."

That's true - my family is healthy, my marriage is a healthy work in progress and we have a home where there's plenty to eat. So on one hand things are good, but on the other hand I'm not always good and my life's not perfect. Let me just give you a glimpse -

A week ago, God showed me HE is so very faithful! He truly does more than we could ever ask or imagine. I was honestly overwhelmed by His goodness and power. But 7 days later, I found myself doubting...initially I was doubting myself; but I realize if it's God who works thru me, really that means I'm doubting Him.

Isn't that nice...someone who calls herself a Christian, one who saw God work powerfully just days ago doubts God? It's true, I am a MESS!

In case you need more evidence...last weekend God stirred up much in my heart, challenged me and confirmed some things. I was encouraged and renewed. A couple of days passed and at times I found myself discouraged thinking about all that was on my plate. I realize I can't do it all, but that tempts me to do N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

Lovely...the girl who encourages others and reminds them that "with God all things are possible" doesn't always believe that promise is for her as well. Obviously I am a MESS!

Then finally...just the other day I read an interview with Lisa Whittle in which she responded to a survey of Christian women...many who are FINE just like me. And perhaps like you. As I read, I was disappointed.

Guess what these women said was their number 0ne sin? Disorganization...really? Granted I struggle with that, but what about selfishness, laziness, pride, doubt? I had a quick little conversation with God - shared some thoughts and asked some questions. One in particular, "God when are women going to own their stuff?" And He simply whispered back, "It could start with you."

Well, let's just say if I wasn't already feeling like a bit of MESS...this would have taken me there. Like I said the survey results had left me disappointed and though I wasn't one who took the survey...I was one of them.

At times I hide behind the mask, I play the "I'm fine" game and pretend like all is well. When really I am a mess! Honestly walking in faith isn't always easy...though us Christians sometimes do a good job of making it look that way. Following Christ doesn't come natural and accepting Him does not make our mess go away.

So why do we pretend it does? I really don't know. But I'm going to borrow a line from Lisa, "I'm so over that." She shared that with us at the retreat and I know she meant it with all her heart, so now I share it with you and pray God will help me live in a way that proves I mean it as well.

How about you? Are you over it? Did the survey results bother you? (Read more HERE!) If so what are you going to do about? Remember, if we want others to own their stuff, we better own ours first!