Look at ME!!

A post from 2008 has come back to mind...I guess I needed to read it again. Maybe you do too...

This past June while attending the local county fair my brother-in-law came across a picture in a scrapbook from years ago. It was of me during my early high school days and as he showed his wife, my husband and children I was embarrassed.

Though everyone laughed, I hurt as I recalled many negative feelings associated with my looks. What really hurts is they haven’t entirely disappeared over the past 20 years. As a child and teen I was a tomboy who enjoyed sports and life on the farm much more than fashion, make-up and the latest hairstyles and my picture proved it.

The doubts on the outside weren’t the only ones I recalled as I took a look at who I once was - I recalled the insecurities as well. The picture brought back a statement I’ve said to myself quite often as I’ve journeyed through life, “look at me!”

These words have never been an attempt to catch everyone’s attention, but instead have given me a reason to doubt. Many times I’ve looked at myself and thought I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or worthy enough to do whatever it was someone was asking me to do.

After giving my life to Christ in my early 20’s I caught myself giving the same response to God – “Look at me!!” He obviously had made a mistake; I wasn’t the girl for the job!

In the past few years God has used one of my children’s favorite stories to speak to me. My kids are intrigued with the idea of walking on water and have attempted to do it themselves, but more important than Jesus’ ability to defy nature is the message He has for all of us.

In Matthew 14:22 – 33 the story is told of Jesus walking on water. It begins,“Immediately after this Jesus made his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake while he sent the people home. Afterward he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone. Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves.” I think we can relate, I know there are times when storms hit my life and it feels as though Jesus is far away. In those moments it can be easy to lose focus and rely on my own strength. It is then that the “look at me” worries, fears and doubts resurface and seem just as powerful as the strong winds and heavy waves.

But we read on – “About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came to them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him, they screamed in terror, thinking he was a ghost. But Jesus spoke to them at once, “It’s all right,” he said. I am here! Don’t be afraid.” A man walking on water, who wouldn’t be afraid? But Jesus assures them of His presence and the story continues,

Verses 28 and 29 – “Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you by walking on water.” All right come.” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on water toward Jesus.” Again can we relate? Have you ever felt God’s presence in your life and by faith reacted to his calling? Like Peter have you jumped out of the boat with complete trust in your savior who is calling you? Have you taken the initial step of faith only to experience what came next for Peter?

In verse 30 we read, “But when he looked around at the high waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted.

I read this verse and can picture Peter mentally saying, “look at me” I’m walking on water and then when the reality of the situation hits I see the statement move from being one of pride to one of fear and doubt. He looks around and sees the danger in the situation coupled with the lack of his own ability to do the very thing Christ told him to do and fear sets in.

As I share this story with my kids, I see myself in this role all too often – God calling me to do something and then in my heart I say yes, but as I survey the situation I too become terrified and start to sink. The “look at me” phrase returns and leads to many excuses in my mind that cause me to sink before my feet even leave the boat.

But as God continues to prove Himself faithful, the final verses of the story carry more power. It says, verses 31 to 33…"Instantly Jesus reached out his hand and grabbed him. “You don’t have much faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” And when they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. Then the disciples worshipped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.”

How many times has Jesus uttered the same words to me? “You don’t have much faith. Why did you doubt me?” For years I believed doubting myself couldn’t hurt God, but I’ve realized that is wrong. If it is Him who lives in me, when I say I can’t who am I referring to? Take a minute and think about that.

As I do just that I think about our evening at the fair and I recall someone saying, “Well at least you can say your looks have improved.” Perhaps, but more importantly than what’s on the outside is what’s happened internally.

2 Corinthians 5:17 tells us, “What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun!” I’m grateful I don’t see the same person anymore and I’m more thankful that every time I hear the familiar phrase “look at me” I’m beginning to sense God whispering, “No Jill, look at me.”

Though He has yet to call me out of the boat and literally walk on water, He has asked me to do things I never thought I would do. How does this happen? By keeping my eyes on Jesus. As Peter did this he did the unimaginable – he walked on water! When I focus on Christ, though the winds may blow and the waves rage, He keeps me from falling and proves himself true. Sisters he will do the same for you – keep listening for his voice, you will hear him say, “Look at me.”

Is it really that important??

We've heard it said the church is a body, but what does that mean? How does it look? Is it really important?

Well think of your body...it would be hard to walk without your feet, but it wouldn't do much good to go places if you didn't have ears, eyes and mouth to communicate with those you were with. Each part of our body serves a purpose just like each member of the body of believers.

Simply said, we need each other!! 1 Corinthians 12:26-27 says, "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it."

And one of my favorite passages Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

Last night I was reminded of the importance of these verses and saw them lived out. A friend brought some sisters in Christ together to celebrate and share. There were laughs and there were tears. Memories were made and faith was built.

So to answer the question that titles this blog, "Is it (the body of Christ) really that important?" Yes, yes, yes it is!! We need each other more than we know. When life is hard and we don't understand, we need sisters and brothers to come alongside us. To help, to listen, to cry, to share hope and point us to Christ. When life is good and we are blessed, we need the body of believers to rejoice with us and keep us humble. The body is where we belong!

In closing I want to share words I penned a few years back during a time when I was hurting. The body rallied around me - they listened, they cried, they shared and they loved. But most importantly the pointed me to Christ and helped me see Jesus when I needed Him most!! Today I challenge you to do the same - if you're a follower of Christ, you are part of the body, so why not live like it and impact the kingdom for His glory!! You never know who the world might see!!

“I Saw Jesus”
His eyes, His eyes welcomed with peace and love.
He cared when no one else seemed to notice.
He listened while everyone else continued to talk.
His arms embraced when others were too busy.
He was honest while the world tried to pretend.
He felt my pain when others didn’t know I was hurt.
He loved me as family because God is our Father.
I saw Jesus…when I saw you.

Full Speed Ahead

The other day my husband brought a dirt bike home for our kids. They were excited and I had flashbacks, which left me excited and scared all at the same time. You see I remembered the fun times I had riding around with my sisters, but I also recalled the time I tipped over and badly burnt my leg. Thoughts of my kids doing the same created mixed emotions, but...

This picture speaks for itself...J.D. was thrilled and Jed enjoyed the ride. The girls were just as excited as the boys! It didn't take long and the oldest two passed Job's version of Driver's Education. I believe it took even less time for their courage and confidence to grow.

By day three they were driving around like they'd ridden the mini bike for years. They thought things were going well and they were doing fine, but when I glanced out the window I felt they were going fast and looking for trouble.

I recall specifically speaking with Joy, who is two years younger than J.D. and does not possess his natural mechanical skills. I shared with her that I was glad she was having fun, but reminded her that this was a machine and she could get hurt. She said to me, "I know all of that Mom. I'll be careful."

Later that night she went out for another ride and minutes later I looked out the window to see her walking to the house with tears in her eyes and frustration on her face. I met her at the door and she said, "I was scared." I made sure she was OK and then she went on to tell me what had happened.

To make a long story short, the throttle had stuck and in an attempt to turn she ran into the branches of an evergreen tree. Again I told her I was thankful she wasn't hurt, but told her there was a lesson (or two) she could learn from this.

In the days that have passed, God's been telling me there's a lesson for me as well. You see sometimes I act like Joy. God gives me something to do and I listen to the directions, take part in the training and then take off full speed ahead. Occasionally this is OK, but usually it's not!

I too need to let things progress slowly. I need to let go of the desire to master things overnight. I need to accept that fact that there are things I don't know and then be willing to take the advice of others, especially God. Speed is a good thing when I'm running a sprint, but I've heard it said faith is more of a walk. So friends today, let's take it slow, trust God's timing and listen to His directions! And if you have a minute pray Joy will do the same!!

This picture still scares me!! But I'm praying we'll both learn to slow down and let Jesus take the wheel!! I know He's much better at avoiding the branches and potholes that can knock us down!!

Who am I? - The Weak One

Growing up I was always kind of small for my age and never the strongest girl on the team, but now that my playing days are done and 5 children have changed my body...I hadn't thought too much about this answer to my question until the other day.

I was wrestling with God a bit about all He's called me to do and in my mind I responded with this, "I'm not strong enough." This time the problem is not physically, but instead spiritually and mentally. I'm sure I don't need to tell you, but have you noticed anytime you step out in faith or really begin to believe God, Satan attacks.

And friend, he brings his A game...he knows which lies to tell me and can plant doubts better than my husband can plant corn! He can knock me down and leave me defeated. He can get me to that place where I want to give up and then I wonder what I was thinking in the first place.

The other day I was there, but thankfully God showed me this as I came across a blog post that included this line,

“When the Lord gets ready for me to leave this church, He won’t send the message by the devil.”

I wasn't contemplating leaving the church, but I was questioning what God had called me to do and my ability to do it. It was then when my mind uttered those 4 words, "I'm not strong enough."

Just as quickly as I said that, God responded with these words to my heart, "But I am!!" Instantly I felt I could relate to Paul as 2 Corinthians 12:9 came to mind, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Perfect in weakness...that seems like such a contradiction. I mean would you ever put those two words together? Think about what perfect means, "Lacking nothing essential to the whole; complete of its nature or kind. 2. Being without defect or blemish." Now take a look at the definition of weakness, "Lacking strength, A personal defect or failing."

I would say these two definitions support my thought: perfect and weakness don't go together. At least not in human terms. Think of it this way, if the batteries in my child's toy are weak, there is no way it will work perfectly. That's one simple example and I know you can come up with endless others.

I have to believe it's normal for us to look at our weaknesses as something that can hinder our performance...everything around us, the battery and toy example, tells us that is true.

Well everything but God's Word. Read this with me again, "my power is made perfect in weakness." God's power, the power that spoke this world into creation, the power that supplies every breath we take, the same power that resurrected Jesus from the dead, that power is made perfect (without fault) in my weakness (my faults).

That can be a hard truth for me to wrap my mind around...honestly feeling weak has never left me thinking I was strong. Really that's good because I'm not strong, but friends God is!! Psalm 147:5 says, "Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit." He is mighty and when I allow Him to work through my weakness that power is perfect.

That my friend is why we must not forget the last part of verse 9, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

So if, like me, you find yourself saying, "I'm not strong enough Lord" today I pray you hear Him saying back to you, "That's OK because I am!!"

Praying for our Sons

Recently I've started following "Warrior Prayers - Praying the Word for Boys" on Facebook and have since enjoyed the blog, The Mob Society. Today I want to share an upcoming challenge with you!

In May, actually the 1st through the 21st, they are hosting 21 Days of Prayer for our Sons! With 3 sons of my own I know how vital this is...my little men need it and so do I!! You can find more details on their website by clicking here!

And now a story from just yesterday about how God uses His word and prayer! I received this message from a friend and am still amazed at how God works! I believe you will find it encouraging as well -

"Yesterday morning God put it on my heart to write out all of Psalm 119. 176 verses. But He had me personalize them about my 17 year old son Aaron. The last verse reads: "Aaron Preston Chealey has gone astray like a lost sheep. Seek him Lord for I know he has not forgotten Your commands." It took me 2 hours to write all of them out and pray them.

Last night a detective came looking for him. Over the weekend he was involved in a robbery. One of the young men pulled out a gun and so it has taken on a whole new twist. Because Aaron was there he will be charged. With what we don't know yet. We met with our lawyer this morning and at 4:30 central time meet again with him and the detective.

We're not sure if he'll be arrested but if he does he'll spend overnight in jail, possibly until Friday.
My heart is beyond sick, but let me tell you that when I read through all 176 personalized verses out loud twice last night my heart found comfort. God is something else, such a tenderhearted Shepherd we have."

Friends, God knows what our sons need and He knows what their moms need as well!! This story from my friend is one example of the amazing ways He works!

Today I ask you to join me in praying for my friend, Lelia and her son, Aaron and praying for our sons as well!! Also take a minute to check out the challenge and an opportunity to win "Warrior Prayers - Praying the Word for Boys in the Areas They Need it Most!!" Find the info here!

The story I should have told...

The other night we attended a youth group supper at our church. This year they had a sports theme and during the event they asked former athletes to share a story from their playing days. For a sports fan like myself it was fun to hear stories, some I'd been a part of and others I'd never heard before. I was amazed at how those memories came back and people could recall details from years ago like they happened yesterday.

But after we returned home, God brought a story to mind, one I told my husband I should have shared. Since I can't go back to that group of people, I decided I'd share it here instead.

First of all to set the stage, growing up basketball was my life. I had the shirts to prove it -

My life revolves around basketball.
Basketball is LIFE - the rest is just details!
A Boyfriend or BASKETBALL? When do we play?!?!

Honestly I wore them and many others with pride, but more than what my shirts said, in my mind basketball was God. Thankfully I now realize that is wrong, but God had to do a few things to show me that and recently reminded me of the process.

So here's the story I wanted to tell...
About a week ago I was looking through some of my old treasures and came across a letter from my old high school basketball coach. In college I had written her a note looking for advice as I worked to come back from a major knee injury and this is part of her response,

"Basketball has always been what you lived for, not many people have been as intense and worked as hard as you have. It has been a big portion of your life and now there is a possibility that that portion may be empty. If you aren't able to play can you find some way to fill the void?"

I read these words and it was like it was 1995 again. I remember the fear, the pain, the loss and even the depression I wrestled with as I said good-bye to a game I loved. She was right a portion of my life would be empty, but looking back I realize I was empty.

All along I'd been trying to fill myself up with success, other's approval and everything else basketball had to offer. When basketball was everything that didn't leave room for anything else, especially God.

Now I'm not saying He caused my injury, but I clearly know He's worked through it. There was a void in my life, one only He could fill. Though it took sometime for me to realize that, He eventually opened my eyes to see basketball is just a game, the world revolves because of HIM and my first love must be Jesus.

Perhaps this story isn't as exciting as the one about scoring the last second lay-up to win the game or heartbreaking like the ones about free throws that were missed to lose the game. But lately I've been reminded stories aren't just about the highs and the lows, the stories we need to tell and others need to hear are the ones about our walk with HIM.

My coach was right, something would have to fill the void - I'm so thankful I found the only One who could!!

Question of the day - "Why do we go see people when they die??"

Last night as we prepared to go to the visitation for an elderly man from our church, one of my little girls asked, "Why do we go see people when they die?"  I explained how we were extending our sympathy to Leo's family and how it was a way to show we loved them.  She accepted my answer and moved on with what she was doing.

Over the last 24 hours God has used this question to stir me up a bit though.  In a way, I think Joy was on to something.  In her mind it didn't make a lot of sense to go see someone who had passed away and realistically she's right - once we've breathed our last there's no conversation, no hugs and no smiles to share. 

But still when someone passes away, we do go see them.  I'm not saying funerals and visitations are bad (God uses them in mighty ways), but what I am saying is I often find the time when it's too late. 

Lately it seems life has been busy, either mine or those who I long to connect with, and we keep saying "one of these days we'll get together."  Soon a month has passed, then another and soon a year goes by and the relationship starts to change and sometimes even fade.

My daughter's question has challenged me to think about what I make time for - I don't want to wait for tragedy or death to make me push pause in my life so I have time for the people who are precious.  Because the truth is when that happens it doesn't matter how busy we are or what is on our calendar, we make time to go see people when they die. 

Friend, today who can you go see, call or write because they are alive and loved by you?  Find the time, because someday life may force you to take the time.