Friday, March 30, 2012

Who am I? - The Weak One

Growing up I was always kind of small for my age and never the strongest girl on the team, but now that my playing days are done and 5 children have changed my body...I hadn't thought too much about this answer to my question until the other day.

I was wrestling with God a bit about all He's called me to do and in my mind I responded with this, "I'm not strong enough." This time the problem is not physically, but instead spiritually and mentally. I'm sure I don't need to tell you, but have you noticed anytime you step out in faith or really begin to believe God, Satan attacks.

And friend, he brings his A game...he knows which lies to tell me and can plant doubts better than my husband can plant corn! He can knock me down and leave me defeated. He can get me to that place where I want to give up and then I wonder what I was thinking in the first place.

The other day I was there, but thankfully God showed me this as I came across a blog post that included this line,

“When the Lord gets ready for me to leave this church, He won’t send the message by the devil.”

I wasn't contemplating leaving the church, but I was questioning what God had called me to do and my ability to do it. It was then when my mind uttered those 4 words, "I'm not strong enough."

Just as quickly as I said that, God responded with these words to my heart, "But I am!!" Instantly I felt I could relate to Paul as 2 Corinthians 12:9 came to mind, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Perfect in weakness...that seems like such a contradiction. I mean would you ever put those two words together? Think about what perfect means, "Lacking nothing essential to the whole; complete of its nature or kind. 2. Being without defect or blemish." Now take a look at the definition of weakness, "Lacking strength, A personal defect or failing."

I would say these two definitions support my thought: perfect and weakness don't go together. At least not in human terms. Think of it this way, if the batteries in my child's toy are weak, there is no way it will work perfectly. That's one simple example and I know you can come up with endless others.

I have to believe it's normal for us to look at our weaknesses as something that can hinder our performance...everything around us, the battery and toy example, tells us that is true.

Well everything but God's Word. Read this with me again, "my power is made perfect in weakness." God's power, the power that spoke this world into creation, the power that supplies every breath we take, the same power that resurrected Jesus from the dead, that power is made perfect (without fault) in my weakness (my faults).

That can be a hard truth for me to wrap my mind around...honestly feeling weak has never left me thinking I was strong. Really that's good because I'm not strong, but friends God is!! Psalm 147:5 says, "Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit." He is mighty and when I allow Him to work through my weakness that power is perfect.

That my friend is why we must not forget the last part of verse 9, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

So if, like me, you find yourself saying, "I'm not strong enough Lord" today I pray you hear Him saying back to you, "That's OK because I am!!"

2 comments:

Rachel Beran said...

Just yesterday, as I prepared for surgery this morning, I told God, "I don't feel strong enough, Lord!" And I immediately felt Him stir in my heart, "You're not, but I am!" All evening I reminded myself that He is my strength, that He gives me the strength I need. His power is definately "made perfect" in weakness! That is when He reveals Himself, proves Himself faithful and reminds us that we CAN'T do this alone. We need Him. :)

Okay, so I am rambling...

Funny thing, I see you as a VERY strong person. Maybe that's because I have seen how the Lord has worked in and through you. And I'm looking forward to seeing Him continue His work...and all He will do! :)

Kimberly said...

SOOOOO thankful His strength is made perfect in my weakness. I've got lots of weakness to offer up!!!! :)

I can get so stuck on wanting to offer Him so much more than I feel like I have to offer. That sounds strange...but hopefully you know what I mean! I want to be able to offer Him a perfect me who follows Him perfectly. But He just wants ME. The me who blows it. The me who does NOT feel strong enough. The me who I feel like should be way farther along than I am. He just wants me, weaknesses and all. And He will be all that I need and so much more.

Thanks for the reminder, sweet friend! He is our strength!