The God I Know

Writing has always played a part in my life...a way God works in my heart as I put words on paper. The messages I share always go to my heart before they show up on your screen. As I write about the Truth, God inscribes it on my heart, which is why I'm here now.

This past week has been a bit different on the Beran family farm. Here's the update I shared last Thursday via Facebook -

An update on the week-

Sun night I had a headache...not alarming.
Mon I realized it wasn't a typical migraine.
An early Tues morning trip to the ER brought a little relief.
A full Weds in the hospital brought some answers. Bloodwork and CT Scan ruled some things out, but a spinal tap brought some direction. They believe I'm experiencing a positional headache because of/with low pressure and a spontaneous spinal fluid leak. I came home with meds and am on strict bed rest. With follow up appointments coming. We're grateful for what we know and I'm thankful the pain is less.

I've had lots of time to think...believe me it hasn't all been good. I've worried and faced fears. I've felt like a failure and battled some guilt. (Anyone going to the Riceville game tomorrow, cheer a little extra for me please.)

I also know God is teaching and reminding me of Truth. A few lessons-

He doesn't change, even if my life does.
He doesn't move, even when my mind drifts.
He's given insight into each of our kids and the special way they care and serve.
He's reminded me of the blessing of a husband who is faithful, loving and selfless and also points me to the Truth and helps keep perspective.
Plus given me friends and family who are concerned and care from near and far.

No matter what life brings...pause for a moment and acknowledge our great God.

Thanks again for the prayers. They are felt and needed. If you have a request, share it please - that's something I can still do!!

Back to today - my days of strict bed rest and pain medicine have come to an end. I'm able to sit up for awhile without pain, but yet there are questions without answers and life is still quite different. As I rest and reflect, pause and pray I'm faced with a choice. Do I fear the future or trust the Lord? Do I waste my time or treasure this season? Do I worry about what if or cling to God's unchanging promises? Do I isolate myself or ask for help? Do I put on a mask and pretend all is well or be real and admit this is kind of hard? Do I say I know God or get to know Him more?

My computer time is limited so I'll wrap this up. First of all in all honesty, I don't always choose well. But more importantly, the God I know is drawing me close. He is working. He is reminding. I hope He is healing. 

As I watch others do the things I typically do, I'm reminded I'm not in control. God is. When life is good, it's easy to say God is my strength. When all is well, it's simple to say He is my joy. But friend, when trials come and the future is unknown we get a better view of who God is. May this song remind you He is God of EVERYTHING.