Lelia at Write from the Heart is hosting her next Yes to God study and this week we take a look at the opening chapter of Lysa TerKeurst's book, Becoming More.
I can relate all too well to thoughts she expressed as she wrote about trying to be good enough. All my life it seemed my goal was to be good enough - to be the good girl, to make everyone happy, to win other's approval...and at times I accomplished that goal, but the results and feelings that achievement created never lasted very long.
You see the phrase, "you can't please all of the people all of the time" is so very true. I'd have a bad game and feel I let my coaches and teammates down, I'd struggle on a test and feel I'd failed my teacher, I'd say something harsh to my little sister and think I'd ruined that as well.
As time went on all this striving left me empty and wondering who I really was - this person expected me to do or be this, so I'd try to live up to that, but then someone else had other thoughts of me, so I'd play a new part. Not only did I fail in making others happy, I usually left myself feeling rather empty.
It seemed as though I'd never be good enough and the realization of that hurt, at times it hurt bad. Because you see, I didn't just relate this fact to the people in my life, but to God as well. I grew up attending church, but never really knew Him. My understanding of salvation was I had to do more good than bad, so with every failure and feeling of worthlessness I not only thought I was letting others down, but really thought I'd failed God as well.
Years went on and my attempt to live this "good enough" lifestyle continued, but the pain of failing only grew stronger. So much so that I seriously considered the thought of ending my life, but again the thought of not being good enough entered my mind - "What if I failed at this too? How would I deal with everyone knowing? Then what would they think?"
Now looking back I see God had a reason for my struggle with not being "good enough" because that night over 9 years ago He changed me. The process of me understanding who He really is and the relationship He wants began and it's been a constant journey ever since.
Though at times my mind falls back into old ways, I don't have to be good enough for God, in reality as a human being I never will be. He loves me, accepts me, forgives me and has a plan for me just the way I am. And the way you are too.
Does that mean we are to cease striving? No! Instead think about the motivation behind your efforts - are your attempts to be or do good to please your spouse, children, boss, friend or even yourself? If so it will never be enough! Or are your works because of your faith and desire to glorify God? If so, keep it up, work to make Him famous - in the world's eyes that may not be good enough, but in God's it will be a picture of beauty. There's nothing He likes to see better than His girls living for Him and being who He made them to be!!