Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Good enough?

Lelia at Write from the Heart is hosting her next Yes to God study and this week we take a look at the opening chapter of Lysa TerKeurst's book, Becoming More.

I can relate all too well to thoughts she expressed as she wrote about trying to be good enough. All my life it seemed my goal was to be good enough - to be the good girl, to make everyone happy, to win other's approval...and at times I accomplished that goal, but the results and feelings that achievement created never lasted very long.

You see the phrase, "you can't please all of the people all of the time" is so very true. I'd have a bad game and feel I let my coaches and teammates down, I'd struggle on a test and feel I'd failed my teacher, I'd say something harsh to my little sister and think I'd ruined that as well.

As time went on all this striving left me empty and wondering who I really was - this person expected me to do or be this, so I'd try to live up to that, but then someone else had other thoughts of me, so I'd play a new part. Not only did I fail in making others happy, I usually left myself feeling rather empty.

It seemed as though I'd never be good enough and the realization of that hurt, at times it hurt bad. Because you see, I didn't just relate this fact to the people in my life, but to God as well. I grew up attending church, but never really knew Him. My understanding of salvation was I had to do more good than bad, so with every failure and feeling of worthlessness I not only thought I was letting others down, but really thought I'd failed God as well.

Years went on and my attempt to live this "good enough" lifestyle continued, but the pain of failing only grew stronger. So much so that I seriously considered the thought of ending my life, but again the thought of not being good enough entered my mind - "What if I failed at this too? How would I deal with everyone knowing? Then what would they think?"

Now looking back I see God had a reason for my struggle with not being "good enough" because that night over 9 years ago He changed me. The process of me understanding who He really is and the relationship He wants began and it's been a constant journey ever since.

Though at times my mind falls back into old ways, I don't have to be good enough for God, in reality as a human being I never will be. He loves me, accepts me, forgives me and has a plan for me just the way I am. And the way you are too.

Does that mean we are to cease striving? No! Instead think about the motivation behind your efforts - are your attempts to be or do good to please your spouse, children, boss, friend or even yourself? If so it will never be enough! Or are your works because of your faith and desire to glorify God? If so, keep it up, work to make Him famous - in the world's eyes that may not be good enough, but in God's it will be a picture of beauty. There's nothing He likes to see better than His girls living for Him and being who He made them to be!!

5 comments:

  1. Ironic that we as human don't feel good enough to even take our own lives. I've had that same thought that if I were to ever do that (which I've succom to realize I never would have the guts) that I'd even do that wrong.

    I found that pivitol and that point really struck me: that we often don't feel good enough to even do the "bad" things good/right.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    I see you had your book published. Congrats. Last time I was here you were moving in that direction.

    Do you have it in many book stores? How are the sales going?
    Sweet blessings,
    Paula

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  2. Loved this Jill!!! Living according to the world's ways sure does require a lot of work!

    I didn't know if you saw it or not & didn't want you to miss it, but Lysa left an encouraging word for us in the comments.

    Oh, and I will show some grace here. As long as this baby is born in the same month that's all good! ;) Can't wait...any day???? How exciting!

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  3. I just love reading everyone's thoughts on this book. I've been blessed with a nugget of truth from each and every post. I've been on this journey with God for about as long as you have and I can relate to how every now and again I tend to think "old" thoughts. But at least I know better and I immediately take it God. Look forward to reading more of your insight!

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  4. "The process of me understanding who He really is and the relationship He wants began and it's been a constant journey ever since."

    So good to meet you, we are all on a journey, so many of us coming from different places, using different routs yet we will all be together with the Father some day. It's going to be grand!!

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  5. Jill,
    Once again, I am AMAZED at how eloquently YOUR written words echo the words in MY heart. You are an incredible woman of God and I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to share in this Bible Study with you.

    Congrats on your book being completed!!

    In Him, Stacy

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