I have a question...

Last night I attended a woman's Bible study and part of our wonderful discussion revolved around the question, "What comfort zone is God calling you out of?" One girl responded, "All of them." How true is that!!

Then the conversation turned more specific and another response hit home, "He is calling me to move past comfortable Christianity. He's asking me to be bold and do something radical for Him." Though the idea is scary, it's what I feel as well.

One thing it seems God has asked me to do is share my story, something I've rarely done. Two years ago it was impressed on me to put this into a book and after some arguing with God (never a good idea), I submitted and now have close to 150 pages.

I have seen God's hand at work as I reflect back on my life, but at times I'm stuck with the question "is this just for me?" I have been blessed by the walk down memory lane and given hope for the future as I see what God has done in my past.

I have included the chapter titles and first chapter of "Letters from Leanne - The Beauty of a Spiritual Mother-Daughter Relationship" and after reading I'd love to hear your opinion. Would you continue reading? Is this something God can use?

Letters from Leanne
The Beauty of a Spiritual Mother-Daughter Relationship…

1. How this Book Began
2. The Friendship Begins
3. The 1st Letter
4. Birth Mom vs Spiritual Mom
5. The Emails Begin
6. Life Goes On
7. Approaching Motherhood
8. Motherhood Begins
9. The Friendship Grows
10. The Trust Builds
11. More than a Friend
12. An Encouraging Example
13. Good from Bad
14. Sharing Hope
15. Blessing His Name
16. A Book is Born
17. Why We Share

How This Book Began
“WOW!!!! I can't really put into words what I am feeling right now. I am honored, I am humbled and I am filled with an even greater love of God for putting you into my life to make me realize that what I have to offer is that valid to another person. Your words are so powerful. A spiritual mother-daughter relationship, what a beautiful thing. I feel stronger than ever that God would not want the words to be held back, yet they can't be spoken at the expense of someone else. I have had such uneasy feelings for several years that God wants me to move in another direction, yet I don't know what it is. I had a really neat talk with a gal in my church today and we talked about this very issue. We talked about how we as "older" more experienced moms do have a lot to offer the less experienced mom. Maybe this is what God wants me to do. Maybe He wants us both to do it. Maybe He wants us to share in some way the importance of having a spiritual mother-daughter relationship. So many questions. I ask you to put this all in prayer and ask God what He wants us to do. How can we help others to have what we have? If it's something so good, how could God want us to keep it to ourselves? I hope that I am not confusing this, but are there resources out there that speak to this?
I love you...Leanne”

This is an email from Leanne, a close friend and mentor, that God used to confirm something I’d been thinking about for a couple of years. Over a period of nine years, Leanne Anderson has come to play a big role in my life – she has encouraged me, listened to me, given advice, and set an example as a Mom, wife and woman of God. Recently, as I was trying to express my thanks for her impact over the years, I failed in my verbal attempt and then told her I could write a book about the difference she has made in my life.

I don’t know what she thought of the statement or even how serious I was with the comment, but on my drive home I was getting the idea that there might be something to this. Memories of our conversations, along with a new understanding of the significance of our friendship flowed thru my head. I knew Leanne was a wonderful friend, but I was beginning to realize she was playing the role of a spiritual mother in my life. She was a living example of what Paul describes in Titus 2:4, “The older women shall train the younger women.”

We had discussed mentoring before, but God was using my failure to express verbal appreciation to stir up ideas for a written thank you and a project bigger than we had imagined. So over the next few weeks, I really doubted the idea of me writing a book, but as thoughts came to me, I figured I might as well write them down. The idea of me being an author really seemed crazy, so I kept the dream to myself and at times really tried convincing myself that this would never happen. As I was carrying on this conversation in my mind, God was constantly telling me something else. After I had easily typed twenty some pages, I felt the need to share what I had written with Leanne. At that point I had titled my work, “Becoming A Spiritual Daughter” and really just explained the hurdles and rewards that are part of playing that role.

I wasn’t sure how Leanne would respond, but I sent the email anyway. The opening letter to this chapter was what I received in return. I was thankful for her appreciation and felt like she sensed a bit of her significance after reading what I wrote, but more important than her comments was how God spoke to me thru what she said. As I read about her visit with a friend and their thoughts on sharing about the spiritual mother-daughter relationship, for the first time I was believing there might be something to this. I knew for myself the value of spiritual mentoring, but felt convinced to really share this with others. So as excitement was beginning to take the place of doubt, I did what she suggested and took it to the Lord in prayer.

As I did this, I not only said the prayer, but also took out my prayer journal and put it on paper. As I turned to the next page in my journal, I was struck by the verse at the top. It said, “You must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and take care of you. I, the Lord, have spoken!’ The Lord touched my mouth and said, ‘See I have put my words in your mouth!” Jeremiah 1:7-9 The words really spoke to me at the time and were simply more evidence of God’s involvement in the whole situation. Fear and doubt were two things really holding me back from pursuing the idea of writing a book, but as I read these words, I felt if it was something God was calling me to do, His power would make it happen. So as time continued to pass by, I kept praying for continued evidence that this was His plan and not mine. I also found myself thinking of more words to put on paper...

"Why me?"

"Why me?" a question we have all asked from time to time and one I've asked far too often. Usually it's a question we hear from others or even in our own minds when something bad happens or tragedy strikes - "Why did I lose my job? Why did my loved one have to die? Why didn't I make the team?" Lately it's been a question I have been asking not because of a death, loss of a job or any other event, but simply because God is calling me out of my comfort zone.

In "What Happens When Women Walk in Faith" Lysa TerKeurst discusses this very question in chapter 6. As she too is being called to take a step of faith, she shares about not only silently asking herself the question, but asking a friend, "Why me, Sheila? Why me?" Her friend replies with the best possible answer, "Because God knew you'd say yes Lysa."

Obviously that's the best answer for Lysa TerKeurst, but does that apply for me too? At times when my mind is full of doubts and overflowing with all the what ifs, my mind wants to say "No, that's not true for you!!" But in my heart I know that's what God wants, it's what He calls us to do - follow Him and let go of everything else, including the worries, doubts and fears.

Though at times I don't understand the whys and occasionally the work seems impossible, I know it's not my place to figure things out. That's not what He has called me to do, He just asks me to trust, submit and proceed.

So as God continues to call, I know He doesn't want to hear a broken record. He doesn't just call us out of our comfort zone to perform a certain task and complete another job on His to-do list. He is strengthening me, our relationship and impacting others.

All the while this is taking place God is with me, the topic of chapter 7. As Lysa says, "though I knew the purpose was to learn to depend on God like never before, it was hard." God doesn't tell us it will be easy, but the Bible does tell us His ways are higher than my ways. Though my selfish mind doesn't always act like that is true, I have enough experience to know His word is accurate.

As the journey continues my faith is growing and my desire to share is increasing. At times it is amazing how much He can change me! Though I still have fears and can worry about others' opinion way too much, I prayerfully keep moving forward and trust where God is leading.

At times I even find myself still asking "Why me?" The question is not always based on fear though. Instead it stems from worthiness - the thoughts in my mind go from "Why am I the one privileged to lead this group?" or "God why am I the one whose story you want to tell?" I have done nothing to deserve the privilege of some of the callings God has given me.

"Why?" is one of the first questions every child asks and though the subject matter may change thru the years, the question is always there. At least that's been the case for me, but as I mature God continues to provide answers...

"Why me, God? Why me?"

"Jill you've said yes before and I trust you will say it again."

"God I want to say yes, but I can't do this. I don't deserve to do this."

"Daughter, you can't do this, but I can. And it's not about what you've done, but who I am."

Raising Godly Sons

Once again it is Monday, time for a meeting at the Well. Today, Lori at All You Have to Give is hosting the conversation and the topic of discussion is "Raising Godly Sons." Titus 2:6 says, "In the same way, encourage the young men to live wisely in all they do."

Honestly thoughts of Titus 2 quickly bring to mind the idea of women training women, so it's a wonderful reminder to think about the influence our example has on men as well, our sons in particular.

As I read the questions Lori posed, I was more excited to read the answers than share some of my own. As a girl who grew up with 2 sisters and primarily babysat girls, my knowledge and experience with boys was limited as a child. So needless to say the birth of our son five years ago also marked the start of a real learning experience...

We hear people say boys and girls are different and now with 2 daughters of my own, I see that lived out daily. Though the sexes are very, very different I believe the foundation for raising Godly children is similar...

Like some of the ladies have mentioned there is insurmountable power in prayer. I don't know how many times I've heard someone say, "The only thing I can do is pray." I believe it's not the only thing, it's the best thing. My son is growing and changing and even the other day I said to a friend, "I wonder what things will be like when he's a teenager?" Honestly sometimes I don't just wonder, I worry!! That's where prayer comes in - though he's just weeks away from his first day of school, we are already praying about his first date, his first big game, his first job, everything. We are trying to put it all in God's hands now - as the saying goes it's better to be proactive than reactive.

As we do this, we don't just pray as a couple or me by myself, but include J.D. in our times of prayer as well. I guess part of the training involves letting your child see you walk the walk - our prayer is they will see how important this is to us and want it for themselves. Another prayer - they will make their faith their own.

Another area I feel is critical to establish in the younger years is communication. Trust me I know conversation with a 5 year old isn't always the type of conversing we are looking for, but we can't expect our child to just come talk to us when they are ready to have a deep conversation in their teenage years. Just like our friendships, our relationships with our children are built over time. Even though J.D. is only 5 we have had some wonderful talks, especially at bed time when life slows down and I make myself available. These times not only build relationships, but they are a wonderful opportunity to plant seeds that I pray will grow into truths that carry him thru life.

Finally for me, the third critical element in raising Godly sons comes back to Titus 2. Women who are a step ahead of me in raising Godly sons have been a huge source of encouragement and wisdom. They have walked the walk and their willingness to share from the good and bad have given me insight. Their words remind that it's never easy, but we grow thru the pain; though mistakes are made, children are forgiving and tomorrow is a new day; and raising Godly children is the biggest assignment God has given us, but He doesn't intend for us to go alone - He is there to help!

So as we enter a new stage of our son's life, prayer will be constant, communication critical and wisdom from my mentors craved.

Along for the Ride

Departing for a trip into unfamiliar territory can be scary! You’re not sure what lies ahead – twists and turns, hills and valleys, fresh starts and dead ends. It’s beneficial to have a passenger who can help and often times life is the same – it’s a journey without a map and one we don’t want to make alone…

I was headed down the dead-end street when my traveling partner joined me for the ride of my life. Her initial impact was remarkable as her words and shared faith helped me turn around and avoid the ditch of depression. She played a role in my life continuing, rather than it coming to a sudden stop.

She didn’t wave good-bye once I headed in the right direction, but instead packed her bags and continued on the ride. As I rounded some curves, she remained available and offered advise about new jobs and my role as a wife.

The journey went on and when there were bumps on the road she was approachable. I went to her with doubts, fears and pain; her honesty and guidance gave me direction when life was difficult.

Once carseats became part of the adventure her personal experience proved valuable. Her stories from days gone by reminded me I wasn’t alone in my struggles.

At times the bumps became valleys – as she dealt with death, she taught me about life. It is not a race! The time we have with loved ones is limited; we need to share our faith. If we want to leave the valley, we need the peace that only hope provides.

Some times the road has been smooth and it’s then she reminds me to be thankful and appreciate the view. But when traffic gets bad, she encourages me to be patient and let His plan unfold.

Other times the journey becomes an uphill climb, so as I struggle to take a step, her support and example move me ahead.

There have even been times I’ve reached a crossroads. When I didn’t know which way to turn, her insights and wisdom helped point me in the right direction.

The journey isn’t over and the path is still unknown, so my traveling partner is a constant necessity. As the seasons change potholes will return, valleys and hills will reappear and someday instead of buckling carseats I’ll be handing over the keys. I’m thankful my friend is along for the ride!

Suffering - A privilege?

I was up early today, something I may suffer for later, but found myself reading Philippians - a book full of wisdom and encouragement. Many of the verses hit home and were words I needed to hear, but nothing jumped out at me more than chapter 1 verse 29, "For you have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for Him."

Suffering - it's a word we don't like to hear let alone something we have to experience. Thoughts of the possibility can bring us down and hearing of others suffering even causes pain, so how can Paul say it is a privilege?

He isn't simply talking about suffering. He elaborates and says "suffering for Him." It's one thing to suffer because of our selfish desires or thoughtless mistakes, but the suffering he refers to is because of Christ.

Not that Christ causes us to suffer, but living our life for Him will. Our faith will not always be understood by those around us, which in turn will lead to judgement, misunderstanding, labels - suffering in one form or another.

Suffering isn't fun - it hurts, causes doubt, creates tears, but yet it is a privilege. Why? Because when we suffer for Him, it's proof we are living for Him.

I once heard Anne Graham Lotz say, "Jesus took the nails for me" (now that is suffering), so "in this life I need to take some for Him." No matter how hard life gets, we need to remember as the song says, "the darkest day in history is over," Jesus death brought victory. No matter how defeated we feel, joy will come.

So though my lack of sleep may bring suffering later on, it is a privilege - again from Anne, "sleep deprivation is better than God deprivation!!"

Have you suffered lately? Remember it is a privilege!!

What am I living for?

During my high school days, this question was easy to answer - basketball. My world revolved around the orange ball in a similar way the earth revolved around the sun or so it seemed. I was always looking to the next game and driven to use my time to improve. Regardless of how the season went, it always eventually came to an end, which resulted in a bit of depression. What was I to do? Like the old song says, "All that I had been living for was gone..."

Eventually, I'd let that go and concentrate on the season that was to come. This process worked fine until my freshman year in college when I hurt my knee. I wouldn't surrender yet though as I rehabbed and made plans to play again.

Finally after a year of struggles, I let go and realized my days in uniform were done. Now 12 years later it's much easier to see though basketball taught me a lot, brought joy and created great memories it's not what I am to live for.

Though it can be easy to see the wrong answers to the question, "What am I living for?" as I look back in my life I wonder, "how am I answering that today?"

It's easy to say the right answer, but when I really look am I living it? It can be easy to get caught up in living my life for my kids - don't get me wrong, investing in those given to me is critical, but ultimately that can't be what or should I say who, I am living for. It's just as easy to get caught up in the dreams we have or the ministry we lead - pouring our self in to working for God.

But, just as my basketball days came to an end - one day my kids will grow up, my dream will come true or die, and I realize new leadership keeps ministries alive. One day all that I am doing will come to a close and when it does, "will all I'm living for be gone?"

I hope not and I really don't think that will be the case. Back in high school when we lost the final game, that is how it felt, I really didn't know what could take it's place, but now things have changed.

As I've come to know Christ and my faith grows, I realize it's not the things, dreams or even the people I'm living for - it's God. Yes, He wants me to do things, He even has dreams for me and people I need to touch for Him, but what I'm living for is Him.

So even though buzzers blow and cause the game to end, all I'm living for will never be gone!!

Bible Study Girl

Various readings and situations have me thinking about the ideal Bible study girl. I think we can each picture her and if we are honest, have at some point tried to be her. I know I have, but as I think about this I'm convinced there is so much more. And as I move away from trying to be somebody I will never be, it's not only for my own good, but others as well.

Lysa TerKeurst is one who triggered some thoughts about this topic as she shared about a book she is currently working on "Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl." I can't wait to read it - her words always inspire me and what a wonderful topic to consider.

Then last night at Bible study discussion came to this very topic as we discussed our fear of what others think and living up to unrealistic expectations. One girl mentioned how that not just sets us up for failure, but can drown others' hope as well. When we appear to walk the perfect walk, live the perfect life and come from a perfect family others may wonder what they are lacking or question where they went wrong. We all know that's not the influence God wants us to have on others.

So as thoughts lingered my mind came up with this,

"Bible Study Girl"

She comes to class

dressed in her best

with a smile on her face

and shares blessings from her day.

She recites the verses

and offers answers that are deep.

From the outside it seems

she has it all together,

but inside she struggles too.

There is pain from her past

and grief from what's been lost.

At times she doubts what she's called to do

and even fears what lies ahead.

As she studies, she learns

"People don't need a perfect person,

it's the real ME,

they need to see."

She becomes transparent

and leads in a way others can follow.

The Bible study girl grows up

and becomes a woman of faith.