A Winner, another story and some advice

First of all, I have to apologize for not posting the winner of "A Confident Heart" on Sunday like I had planned. Though I would love to give a copy to each of you, I'm glad to announce that Angie is our winner. I will be in touch with you soon!!

Next I have another story to share, which I pray will encourage you to buy a copy for yourself or borrow it from a friend. This book will make a difference in you and your life. Let me explain -

Friday night my husband, myself and our 5 children attended our local high school's football game. This is the same school I graduated from and later I taught and coached there. Since our town is small, everyone has connections to the school and now as enrollment drops and it's future is unknown people have their opinions as well.

In the last few years my connection to the school has changed...God has put it on our heart to homeschool our children and this is something not everyone understands or supports. As a people pleaser this has bothered me and impacted me. Whenever I was back in the building or around former co-workers I found myself wondering, "what are they thinking?" Even if they didn't question our actions, in my mind I doubted God's call. It always seemed like it would be easier to do what everyone else did.

But God would confirm this time and time again, so I'd fight the doubt and obey. Today marks the start of my 4th year as a homeschooling mom, but Friday night I realized it is the first without fear. That night as we drove away I realized I had visited with many former teachers, parents and community members, but this time something was different - I wasn't consumed with the worry of what they thought or fear of doing the wrong thing.

It was then the idea of confidence came to mind...I had been obeying God, but now I had confidence to do what He called me to do. I honestly believe Renee's book is playing a part in the transformation God is doing in my heart. Friend, I know He can change yours as well!!

If you haven't read the book yet I'd like to share a little advice -
1) Pray first. Don't start without asking God to use this book in your life. Ask to open your ears to what He wants you to hear and strengthen you to walk this road.

2) Take your time. Though it may be tempting to rush through and enjoy Renee's story, may I caution you to slow down so you get God's message. Pretend the words of the book are a tea bag and let them soak!!

3) Be prepared. For the change and challenge that lie ahead. And for the attacks as you embrace God's truth and become who He made you to be - His daughter with a confident heart.

And then don't put your book on the shelf, pick it up and start reading again!!

Remembering...

August 30th is a day that will always stand out on the calendar for me. Back in 2008, the 30th fell on a Saturday and it's a day I will never forget.

This morning as we read our morning devotions, the events from that day 3 years ago came back to mind. You see we were using the same Bible reading calendar then as we are now, so today as my husband read Luke 22, I vividly recalled doing the same not long ago.

You see it was on that day when we experienced a miscarriage, but as I read from the Word before the Dr. confirmed what I already knew, verse 42 became real personal. I read these words with tears in my eyes, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”

His will was done, but this morning as I listened to my husband read verse 43, the very next one, jumped out at me. It says, "An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him." Honestly 3 years ago, I don't even know if I saw those words, but today I did. I have spent some time remembering and reflecting, and God has shown me He responded to me, His daughter, the same way as He did to Jesus, His Son.

I didn't see an angel in physical form, but as I look back and recall the emotions and pain I experienced as I grieved a child I will not hold until heaven, I know He strengthened me. His love held me. His peace filled me. Hope in Him helped me.

Today I've been reminded of the importance of remembering...not just the ones we love and have lost, but remembering the One who loves and saves us when we are lost!!

Oh Lord, help me never forget who You are and help me rest in the truth that YOU are faithful! Thank you for memories, ones that are fun and full of joy, and ones that are of those we miss, but remind me of You.

Friend, what do you need to remember tonight??

Do you ever feel ordinary??

I came across this poem from a couple of years ago...it was the reminder I needed and thought maybe someone else needed it too!!

"An Ordinary Girl"
My house can be a mess and
sometimes the kids are naughty.
My past is far from perfect and
my mind is full of doubt.
Lord, I'm not qualified and
this is nothing I deserve -
I'm just an ordinary girl.

Then I met her -
the one who has it all together
or so I thought,
but she's not perfect either.
She's had her share of falls and
even questioned her own worth -
She's an ordinary girl.

But God, then there's You -
the Maker of the heavens and the earth.
The One who moves mountains
and has counted every star.
You can use us all,
especially when we're just
an ordinary girl!!

Words brought to life...

A newborn baby in the house means a loss of sleep (plus many other wonderful things!!), but the other night a truth was brought to life while I was up with our new little man. I was already lacking in the sleep department and the night I hoped would be better, well it wasn't, so I pulled myself out of bed once again and did what I needed to do.

I sat down to feed Jesse and looked for something to pass my time. Rather than opening the book that kept me up longer than my baby did, I pulled our calendar off the shelf and decided to look at what the new month would bring. It was then something caught my attention; no, it wasn't the events scheduled or the first day of school instead it was a verse that instantly took on a meaning that was real!!

The words on our calendar read, "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good." (1 Peter 2:2,3)

Now, I've read this verse numerous times and heard it as well. I know the point Peter is making, but that night as I sat there with a newborn babe in my arms these words came to life! You don't have to be a Mom to know babies need milk, I really believe that is an understood fact of life. But if you are a Mom, you've experienced the craving newborns have for milk. It feeds them and fills them. Calms them and comforts them. This is what they desire!

This isn't a one time desire either! My little guy craves milk quite often...at times it feels like this is a constant desire and others it seems to be the only desire!!

That night as I sat in the early hours thinking about this I was struck by the contrast in my desires with that of my son. Honestly I wasn't craving spiritual milk at that moment like my son was craving physical milk. And if I'm truthful I don't know if I've ever craved God's Word in the same way my son cried out for his nourishment.

How about you? Do you crave spiritual milk like a newborn baby craves that which sustains him? Remember craving it, isn't enough - my son doesn't stop longing for milk when I pick him up, he is not satisfied until his desire is met. Friend will you join me in being more aware of what we crave? Let's move past realizing we need this spiritual meal and make an effort similar to the one I do with my son, let's get ourselves out of bed and let our Heavenly Father provide the nourishment that only He can.

And then when we're feeling empty, cry out and let Him fill us again!! This strategy works for my son and I know God is a much better parent than me!!!

What words have been brought to life for you recently??

He's Here!!!

The wait is over...God blessed us with a wonderful gift this past week - Jesse Clay Beran arrived on July 19th at 9:24 AM! He weighed in at 7 pounds 10 ounces and was 21 inches long! He's our number 5, but has already set himself apart with a birth story that is unique!!

We arrived at the hospital Tuesday morning after a quick drive to town - usually it's nearly a 45 minute trip, but this time Job cut it to 30! At 8:55 we spoke with the nurse in the OB department and since all three delivery rooms were full she took us into a family waiting room to get my vitals, but she soon realized things were progressing, so opened the door and informed the others, "We NEED a room!" It was then Job said, "I kind of feel like Mary and Joseph!!"

The nurses responded and a little after 9 we made our way into the new found room! And it wasn't even 25 minutes later when I sat in disbelief with a new little boy in my arms! Once again I was overwhelmed with all God had done...the provision, the details, the gift! He is GOOD!!

We quickly called his big brothers and sisters to share the news, but had yet to name our new little man. In the hours to come, God would give us that as well. We knew it would be a J and had it narrowed down, but eventually realized he was our little Jesse, which means gift. Now 5 days later, I know this is his name...gifts aren't something we expect or get on our own; no, they come from God and for that I am grateful!!

After his first name it was onto the middle, which was a much quicker task! Early on in the pregnancy it seemed God had given me the middle name for either a boy or a girl and as we said, "Jesse Clay" we knew that was the case. Throughout the pregnancy I was reminded that I am nothing but clay in the hands of the Potter and our prayer is little Jesse will one day surrender his life to Christ and allow God to shape him, mold him and use him for His glory!!

Now for a few pics -

Jesse Clay Beran

Job and the Beran Bunch!!
J.D., Joy, Jaylyn, Jed and Jesse

"Look what I found!!"
A picture of peace!

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and well wishes, we are blessed and thankful!!

While I wait....

Tomorrow we hit 37 weeks in our pregnancy and the waiting game has already begun! The closest we've come to our due date was a week early and the Dr. doesn't expect us to deliver this one July 28th. Today as thoughts about our baby, the delivery and timing distract me I was reminded I have felt this way before.

Back on October 9th of 2009 I was in a similar position - awaiting the arrival of our 4th child when I shared these words...

"I'm beginning to feel I can relate to John Waller's song, "While I'm Waiting" in a whole new way. But really I guess the song relates to any waiting periods we have. In this life we have various situations and circumstances and the last 10 days we've played the waiting game in our house.


You see we are expecting our 4th child on the 29th of this month, but last week after my check-up, the Dr. told me things were progressing. So I travelled home expecting the baby to be born soon...

After a couple of normal days, my patience was growing thin and I was growing frustrated as I attempted to figure out when this little one would arrive. Yesterday I returned to the Dr. and she told me my body is half way there, but yet now 24 hours later nothing has happened.

Now it's not only my patience that is growing thin, but so is that of my oldest 2 kids who are anxiously awaiting their new little brother or sister. Today as I've been frustrated with our time of waiting, I heard the song, I've listened to numerous times, but related to it in a whole new way.

Regardless of why we need to wait, God has a purpose for these minutes, days, weeks and sometimes years. And today He has simply reminded me I'm not the one in control, life isn't about my plans, but His and since they are perfect while I'm waiting I pray this is the song of my heart...

I’m waiting

I’m waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I’m waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting

I will serve You

While I’m waiting

I will worship

While I’m waiting

I will not faint

I’ll be running the race

Even while I wait

I’m waiting

I’m waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I’m waiting on You, Lord

Though it’s not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting

I will worship while I’m waiting

I will serve You while I’m waiting

I will worship while I’m waiting

I will serve You while I’m waiting

I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord."


My Dr. hasn't made any predictions but has reminded me with my history we should be prepared. The words to this song and the memory of a past "wait" remind me God is in control and He is worthy of my worship! Lord, help me, help us all do this!!

"Who am I?" - O-V-E-R-W-H-E-L-M-E-D

I've been away from my blog for awhile and the title of this post is part of the reason - I have found myself a bit overwhelmed at times! There have been moments this description of me has defined me - not always a good thing, but God has used this to teach me.

You see we are weeks, or possibly days from delivering our 5th child, and though I've known about this and had 8 months to prepare thinking about it still overwhelms me at times. I mean I'm the gal who survived on nutty bars, Diet Mountain Dew and macaroni and cheese my first couple of years out of college. I'm on the verge of being responsible for feeding 5 little ones - that alone is a scary thought!! It's not just the physical feeding (or cost of raising a family) that has consumed me but the spiritual growth and training I'm responsible for as well.

Then there are the events outside the walls of my home as well - the pain, the grief, the sin, the lost, the change...if I allow myself to focus on this in the wrong way the overwhelming feelings intensify! But, the other day as I took a walk down our quiet country road God reminded me being overwhelmed isn't always a bad thing.

Initially this thought surprised me, but then I was reminded of the times God has overwhelmed me and that is a good thing!!! I paused and took a moment to let this thought sink in and as I did I looked out across the field to see our cattle and God reminded me of His, "I have no need of a bull from your stall or of goats from your pens, for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills." (Psalm 50:9-10) The thought of His resources overwhelmed me and took the worry of my lack of them away!!

My lesson in the great outdoors didn't end there, overhead there were birds and I was reminded of the sparrow, "Not even a sparrow, worth only half a penny, can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to Him than a whole flock of sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31) God cares about the birds, He sees them fall...though others may be unaware of my struggles, He is in the midst of them. The overwhelming thought of feeling all alone was replaced by awe for the value my Father sees in me!!

Then an internal kick changed the course of my thoughts and God changed the reason for my overwhelming feelings. At times I've focused on the change that lies ahead and the work that mothering 5 children will involve, but as I recalled Psalm 127:3 my perspective changed. These words say, "Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him." I was still overwhelmed, but now it was for a good, Godly reason - the God of the universe has chosen me to be these little ones Mom, that is unbelievable! They truly are gifts I must treasure!!

Thinking about the responsibility these gifts require is a bit overwhelming, but God kept the lesson going as I recalled Isaiah 41:3, "For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." This is not a job I can do on my own and when I think about it that way I am overwhelmed, but knowing God is there and not just offering His help, but assuring me of it, I am overwhelmed for a new reason. A good reason, a Godly one!!

Friend if you find yourself overwhelmed today can I suggest you take your concerns to the Lord, listen to what He has to say. Let Him overwhelm you with His love, His power, His provision and His strength!!