For my married friends...

Hello all, I'll keep this short today, but wanted to take a minute and invite my friends who are wives to Encouragement Cafe. I'm sharing a devotion called, "What Kind of Wife are You?" You can read it HERE. I pray the words bless you, encourage or convict. If you have any words of wisdom about living out this role or a story of God working through it, please share in the comments. May your day be blessed!

Words I would say...

Recently I've talked with a few athletes walking through an injury, which always takes me back. This post from 2016 came to mind and in case any of my reading friends are dealing with an unexpected setback I decided to share them again. If you find yourself in a place of pain, I pray these words provide a little perspective.

Life as I knew it changed. I could no longer do what I had always done. My eyes were opened to the fact that I found my identity in what I did, not who I was. Looking back I realize things could have been much worse, but as a 19 year old tearing my ACL was almost more than I could handle.

I blew out my knee doing what I always loved, playing a game that my world revolved around. It was the end of my freshman year in college and though nearly 21 years have passed, today I found myself back in time thinking about what I experienced back then. 

Yesterday I found out another girl from our school tore her ACL only a week after a young man from our church did the same. Three high school seniors, all basketball players, walking a road they didn't sign up for. My heart hurts for them.

This morning as I found myself thinking of them and praying for them too, I had a thought, "What would I say to them?" Friend, chances are you're not a high school athlete struggling with an injury, but maybe you're at a place in life where everything is changing, things aren't going like you expected or there's a bump in the road that leaves you defeated. If so, I pray these words will speak to your heart. 

Friend, I know this isn't what you expected. This isn't the way you thought things would turn out. It's not the plan you had for the months to come. I know I've been there. You may be angry. I was too. You may be sad. It happened to me. You're in pain and you wonder why. Let me encourage you to deal with those emotions. Talk to a teammate, coach, friend or parent. Don't walk this road alone. Others have travelled the same path...reach out to them for encouragement, help and perspective. 

Now for the part you may not want to hear. I say that because these are words that made me want to scream in the days following my injury, so scream if you want, but please hear me out. Don't just read the statement, but listen to my reasoning. OK, I'll say what I never wanted to hear - "It's just a game." 

The people who said that to me weren't athletes and didn't love a game. Friend, I did. Basketball was my life...I had a shirt that said that and my thinking would have proved it. I didn't drink because of basketball. I didn't date because of basketball. I worked out for basketball. I chose my college because of basketball. Basketball was more than a game I loved, it was the god I worshiped. 

I didn't do this intentionally. I never prayed to my ball or bowed down on the court, but the game was the most important thing in my life. I didn't realize this was a problem...well, until the game as I knew it was gone. 

I had surgery, rehabbed and tried to come back, but for me it was never the same. (If you have dreams of returning to the court, it is possible and I pray you do!!) This void, coupled with my struggle with depression, pushed me deeper into the pit. No longer part of a team, I found myself lonely. No longer doing what I loved left me discouraged. Eventually I found myself empty and without hope.

I grew up going to church and being good. I believed in God, but I didn't live for Him. I'd heard of Jesus, but never heard from him. I spent my time reading Sports Illustrated instead of God's Word. It didn't happen over night (it actually took about 5 years), but once the idol of basketball was removed from my life I was able to see God as the One who was worthy of my worship. (Rev. 4:11)

Basketball is still a game I love and I actually coach my daughter's now, but I've learned it is just a game. A game God can use for much and we can enjoy, but something we are NOT to worship or let dictate our lives. Friend, I know you love the game, have made sacrifices and been dedicated, but it won't last forever...even the best athletes hang up their sneakers eventually. 

Grieve your loss and work through it, but turn to God in your time of need. If you've never received Christ as your Lord and Savior, do that now. May what feels like your greatest loss become your biggest gain! If you have a relationship with Christ, allow this to draw you closer to Him - the friend who will never change and will always be there. Cry out to Him, share your heart and your needs. He can and will provide. He alone has the power to heal...that's not a guarantee your knee will someday be 100%, but your heart can be renewed. 

Let me close with words that brought perspective following my surgery...

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

A Christian teammate shared this passage with me and I clung to this first sentence in an attempt to find a reason for my injury. Initially the athlete in me found purpose in my injury as I was getting stronger, but after coming to Christ I realize these words say so much more. Friend, our suffering does have a purpose and God works through it to do much. 

If you are struggling with a knee injury, a broken relationship or a financial issue perhaps it's an opportunity to remember who is in control - God the One who gives hope and has a plan. He is good, faithful and powerful, join me in trusting Him with all your heart. 

I don't know if these words have helped, but I pray they've made you think. I also hope they remind you, you are not alone. Others have been in your shoes and God will always be at your side!

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, 

for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." 

Deuteronomy 31:6

What do you do with a loss?

March Madness is upon us, which is great for basketball fans of all ages. It can be exciting and fun, but when the losses come it is difficult. Last night my favorite team, the Iowa State Cyclones, took an early exit from the tourney. It's easy to question the coach, fault the players and blame the refs, but my thoughts went deeper today.

First, it is a game. There are worse things than a loss in an athletic contest. This is not a matter of life and death. The sun came up today and most likely the Cyclones will be playing ball again next season.

Second, this hurts the players and coaches more than it impacts any fan. Sure your bracket may be busted, but their season is over. They have poured blood, sweat and tears into this. They set goals and dreamed dreams and now it's all come to a close. I never played in the NCAAs, but I've played in some year ending defeats and coached in them too. Regardless of the stage, it's not a moment you enjoy.

Finally, the focus of this post. As I thought about our team's loss, I thought about the lesson it gives for life. Chances are you're not sitting in the losing team's locker room, but you may have experienced a loss in life. This won't show up on the scoreboard or in the local paper, but life can leave you defeated. So friend, my question is: What do we do with a loss?

The coach in me will provide the most important answer - learn from it. When we experience a loss, be it on the court, in a relationship or at our job, we often want to move on and forget about it, but that should not be our go to response. Take a look at your situation. Ask yourself some questions. Why did you fail? What could have you done differently? How can you improve?

As I thought about this 3 areas came to mind. If you've recently experienced a big loss or feel like you're in the midst of a losing streak would you think about this?

Check your heart. If we want to experience success, our heart has to be in it. We need to be devoted and engaged. If I want to win as a wife or a mom, I must be present. Not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually and mentally. If I have dreams of success as a woman in ministry or at my place of work, I need my heart and plans to be aligned with God's. On the basketball court it doesn't take long to recognize someone who's heart just in it and the same can be said for the game of life. If your heart is the issue, use Psalm 51:10 to guide your prayers - "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." 

Check your effort. Effort is basically another word for work. This is a necessity on the basketball court. It's easy to tell when this is lacking and it almost always leads to a loss. I'm sure the Cyclones are reliving the game in their minds. It's not that they played lackadaisical, but each one can probably point out one individual mistake that played a part in the loss. In the game of hoops every possession matters; in the game of life every word and every action makes a difference. Oh to be mindful of that always. Friend, today instead of just reading this verse, I pray we make it our mission. Colossians 3:17 says, "And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."

Check your focus. I have no idea how many times I told my elementary girls to focus this year, but it was a key word for our season. I've heard Coach Prohm often talk about staying the course. Often in a loss we can look back and see a lapse in thinking that led to a mistake. Sometimes when we watch a game, we see a player whose focus is on himself rather than the team. This often leads to a loss. Friend, as you strive for victory in this life, what is your focus? Is it on you or Jesus? Hebrews 12:2 instructs us to "fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." Are you striving towards your goals or working to live out God's commands? Psalm 119:112 says, "My heart is set on keeping your decrees to the very end."

Finally, a loss isn't always a bad thing. It can be a motivator. It can lead to improvement, which results in more success. So friend, no matter what loss you walk through, know this - it is hard. There will be pain, maybe even tears, but if we respond rightly it can play a part in victory. I hope and pray the Cyclones reflect on the game and remember the pain as they work towards next year.

We never set out to lose, but like my grandma always told me defeat is part of playing the game.  I'm asking God to help us recognize the losses in our life, so that we can learn from them and experience more success because of them. Friend, win or lose may we make living out Psalm 34:3 our goal!

Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together!

Is change possible?

Have words from your past ever come back? Sometimes this happens and it's a bad thing and others well, it just might be encouraging. Today, Encouragement Cafe shared a devotional,  "Ever Felt Unworthy," that I wrote a few years ago. I don't know if God used it anybody else's life, but He spoke to my heart.

The devo opened with these words -

“She’s better than you. You don’t deserve to be her friend. She was a Baylor Beauty and you, well you’re a Riceville Reject.” These are the thoughts that ran through my mind as I thought about making a call to a friend.

Honestly, I had forgot about this, but as I read I went back in time. I not only recalled the words, but I remembered the emotions. Living with such insecurity and a complete feeling of unworthiness was hard. The battle to try and measure up paired with the feeling of endless failure left me depressed and without confidence. I lived that way for a long time. And most of the time, I never thought it would change.

Praise the Lord it has! That's not to say there aren't moments of doubt or fear, but my identity is found in Christ and I know He paid the ultimate price to claim me as His own. I could say a lot about that journey, but today the encouragement I found in this flashback is: Change is possible!

The last couple of months I've found myself in the midst of a different struggle...I tend to feel overwhelmed at times. If you're a wife, mom, employee or woman in the world today, you might experience the same. Our to-do lists never end nor do the troubles in the world. Our schedules are full and sometimes the bank account is empty. We can wrestle with worries of the future and regrets from the past. Decisions might create anxiety while times of waiting make us restless.

Thankfully, I'm not facing a major life-altering situation or illness, but friend, would you agree sometimes daily life can be a bit overwhelming? As I walk through normal days on our busy farm trying to teach our 5 kids and organize our busy schedule sometimes I'd like to hit pause. In reality that's not possible, so rather than survive this season of life I'd like to thrive.

I find myself thinking back to when our kids were little before the days of basketball, football, track, wrestling and softball. There were no games or meets, FFA meetings or youth group gatherings. Life seemed simple then, but it wasn't easy either. It could leave me overwhelmed too, which leads me to this post - I'd like for this to change. And, I have hope that it can and will.

Matthew 19:26 says, "But Jesus looked at them and said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" Jesus is referring to who can be saved, but ALL is absolute. Our great God can do all things!

In Luke 1:37, an angel says, "For nothing will be impossible with God." Because of God, a virgin gave birth. Our great God has ways that are not our ways.

Mark 9:23 tells us, "If you can?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for one who believes." This is a snippet of Jesus' conversation with the father of a sick boy. You may notice the words are a bit different. He's clearly already told us ALL things are possible for God, but now adds a stipulation for us. Friend, you and I must believe.

We don't have to believe in ourselves, actually we better not believe in ourselves. We must believe God. We need to believe His Word.

I believe change is possible. Do you?

My words from the past remind me this belief is step one. Long before I came to that place of understanding my worth in Christ, I knew the Bible said God loved me and Jesus died for me. I knew the Sunday School answers in my head, but I struggled to accept them in my heart. It wasn't until I started seeking God's Word and crying out to Him that true transformation took place.

Clearly with God change was possible, but I had to hide His Word in my heart and allow Him to change me from the inside out. This didn't happen overnight and sometimes it was hard, but it was worth it.

I read those words from my past and I praise Him for the work He did. And, tonight I ask Him to begin again. There's more change to come. I no longer want to be overwhelmed by this life, I long to be overwhelmed with His love. I don't want to drown in my fears, but be flooded by His promises. I don't want to be burdened by my decisions, but be blessed with His plan. I don't want life to leave me defeated, but instead walk in the victory that is mine.

I don't know how long this process will last or what it will look like, but I believe the change is possible. I look forward to seeking Him, I plan on praying for change and I trust one day I will again look back and praise Him for His transforming power.

Friend, what work of change has God done in your past that can give you hope for the future? Have you accepted something as normal when God has a plan for so much more? Whatever it is - an identity struggle, a relationship conflict or the feeling of being overwhelmed, I encourage you to surrender that and seek God for change. Find promises related to your problem, replace lies with Truth and get to know God more!

Rest in these words from Jeremiah 32:17 today!

"Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth 

by your great power and by your outstretched arm! 

Nothing is too hard for you."

Traits of a Teammate

Basketball season has come to a close for us. My junior high girls wrapped things up at a tournament in Des Moines and during our time in the city, I captured my favorite picture of the season. It's not of a winning shot or a big defensive play, it's actually not even in a gym, but to me it paints a beautiful picture.

Basketball is a team sport. You can't defend alone. Rarely does one individual score all the points. You need 5 girls to start and a few more to sub. The good athletes realize being a teammate is important; they know being a good teammate is valuable. The picture below says it well...

The crutches you see belong to the gal getting a piggyback ride. Madi had sprained her ankle earlier in the day at our game and as we walked over 5 blocks to watch the state championships, she was getting tired. I encouraged our hard working, do-it-all point guard to stop and rest, but like always she was determined to keep up with everyone until a teammate spoke up and said, "I'll give you a ride." 

I have pictures of our girls after big wins and following an undefeated season, but as I flip through them, this is my favorite. Let me explain - the girls are walking uphill to the "Well" - the venue for state championships in Iowa. These girls have that as a goal. In the pic, the team is together and the girls are leading the way. Unity and player leadership are key for success. Then there's the piggy back ride...it really brings the old saying to life - "When a teammate falls down, you help them up." Sometimes you even carry them for awhile. 

It's often said, basketball is about more than winning and losing. It's true...the game teaches lessons for life and develops character for the future. It also paints a picture of some spiritual truths. 

Though our playing days come to an end, we will be a teammate for life. We may no longer be striving for victory or all wearing the same jersey, but we'll be connected with others. As sisters in Christ and members of God's family, you could say together we are part of God's team. Just like on the basketball court, we have to be a good teammate.

Do these traits describe you?

Loving - I'm thinking most coaches have told their teams, "You don't have to be best friends, but you have to play together" or something along those lines. Friends, your co-workers and partners in ministry may not be your best friends, but they are individuals you are called to love. It's evident when teammates enjoy one another and care for each other. Players share the ball and celebrate one another's success. The same is true for believers.

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

"A friend loves at all times." Proverbs 17:17

Humble - It's nearly impossible to love another without humbling our own heart. It takes humility to play sports and excel. Athletes must sacrifice personal glory for the team's. Christians must do the same...we have to die to self, so that Christ can live in us. When athletes are humble, teams succeed; when disciples of Christ walk in humility, His light shines.

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. 

Rather, in humility value others above yourselves..." Philippians 2:3

Willing Listener & Truth Teller - The other day at our end of the season meeting, we talked with our gals about constructive criticism and accountability. True team players and competitive athletes want to improve. That desire must be accompanied by a willingness to listen and accept feedback. Nobody really enjoys hearing what we do wrong, but if we want to grow and learn these conversations are necessary. This is true on the playing field and in the game of life. How do you respond when someone shares a suggested area of improvement? Are you willing to listen when someone calls out your sin? If these teammates in life have humbled their hearts and are speaking in love, we must be willing to listen. If we care about the ones we work with, we must be willing to tell the truth and share words that may be difficult.

"Words from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27:6

 What traits do your favorite life-long teammates possess? How have you been blessed by their support and encouragement? Would your teammates describe you with these traits? With March Madness upon us, we can see the value of teammates on the basketball court. I encourage you to stop for a minute and think about the role you play as a member of God's team. Thank Him for the opportunity and look for ways to improve!

 "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, 

one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another 

to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 

And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—

a threefold cord is not quickly broken." 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12