A Year Later

This morning I'm up early, the house is quiet and my mind is going. Many thoughts run through my head, but eventually I begin to focus on one thing...last year on this Saturday morning before Father's Day I received a call saying my grandma had passed away.

It's a call I knew was coming as cancer had taken over and during her last week there were a few times they didn't think she'd make it through the night. Though the call was expected, the news was hard and now that time has passed the pain is not raw, but grief is still present. 

This morning I have found myself reflecting...I've revisited my prayer journal from a year ago and reread the devotional that spoke to me a year ago last night. 

The opening verse was from Luke 10:41 and said, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things." I read those words and felt God address me, "Jill, Jill you are worried and troubled about many things." And friend, let me tell you - I was.

I was struggling with my grandma's imminent death, hurting for her family and worrying about how my children would handle the loss of one they loved. My 3 oldest kids were all sleeping over at different houses and I wondered, "If something happens tonight, how will we tell them." And friend, this was just the beginning of the mess in my mind.

But then I read God's Word - the one that is living and active, useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training, and things changed. He spoke to my heart and quieted my soul. I was reminded of who He is...a good and loving Father, who can and will sustain me no matter what life brings. His Word was Truth, which helped me remember His promises and put things into perspective. Then I had peace.

By 6 the next morning this is a peace I would need and it's one God provided again and again this past year. It's hard to believe that much time has went by and I can't begin to tell you how many times we've missed Grandma B. I also don't want to paint a perfect picture because honestly it hasn't always been easy. God's peace and perspective do not lead to perfection here on earth, but friend they do help us persevere. 

As I do this and try to help my children do the same, I'm grateful we can persevere with hope and thankfulness. Sometimes we laugh as we remember funny stories and fun times, others we cry when we miss Grandma and wish we could stop in for a visit, but in it all we remember. We remember the story is not over, we will see her again...because Grandma knew Jesus as her Lord and Savior we have the hope of heaven. And for that and all the memories, we are thankful. 

Friend, I don't know what you are walking through or what the past year has held for you but can I encourage you spend sometime in God's Word and prayer. He has what you need...go to Him, ask Him to provide and He will. Today will you join me in focusing on 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18? Here Paul tells us, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Believe me, I know this is not always easy, but it is always right! 

A year ago I'm not sure I would have thought I could do that on the day my grandma died, but today a year later I know if we ask God to help us live out His Word, He will. Friend, thank you for stopping by...it's a joy to walk through life with you. Please know I'm lifting you in prayer and asking God to draw you close, speak to your heart and fill you with His Spirit. And a special thanks for all the prayers you've prayed for me! We've all needed them and appreciated them.

Thanking God for the memories and in them too!