Have you ever found yourself worrying? Do you struggle doing what God calls you to do? Me too. Actually the other day I realized this was consuming me. God had made it clear He was leading me to do something I didn't want to do. Something that would be hard, something that might not turn out like I expect and something that might not be understood by others.
I was wrestling with this and though God confirmed His guidance again and again I grew more and more anxious. My mind was focused on all that could go wrong. I could say the wrong thing. The other person may misinterpret what I'm trying to say. And the more I listened to these doubts the more I began to worry. I found myself questioning what I already knew. Things like God's goodness, His faithfulness and even His provision.
I could feel this consuming me and after attempting to fight the battle myself I finally listened to that still small voice and went to Him. I opened my prayer journal and as the words began to flow the tears started to fall. I confessed my doubts, worries and fears along with my selfishness and pride. And when I stopped talking, I was encouraged to listen.
God quietly whispered words I needed to hear and Truth I needed to remember. This situation wasn't about me or the person He was leading me to talk with, this was about Him, His glory and His Word. I am not in control, but He is. His plan is good and His ways are not my ways. My job is obedience and His role is to take care of the results. He will lead, but I must choose to follow.
So that night I laid my struggle down and asked God to remind me to let it go when I try to pick it up again. I committed to following Him even when He leads me where I don't want to go. I thanked Him for who He is - my Creator and Provider, my Rock and my Redeemer, my Shepherd and my Father, all things He never forgets, but I need to remember!
Our time together ended and peace had replaced my anxiety. I had the desire to trust what I had begun to doubt. The fear of man had left me paralyzed, but now my love for the Lord gave me the desire to obey.
That night before I went to bed I opened a daily devotional and smiled when I read a common, but always powerful verse - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Friend, I tell you all of this for a few reasons - first the one that may be a bit selfish - to keep myself accountable. In my heart and mind I'm trusting God with this, but I have yet to actually do it. By putting this out there I'm using the old practice what you preach philosophy - since I've shared all of this, I know God will remind me of what I said!! Second - I think it helps to know we are not alone. Your struggle may be different than mine, but if I had to guess you've struggled with doubt or walking in obedience before. And finally, sometimes I think we just need reminders, I know I do!
So today I encourage you to remember this -
God is GOOD! - For you, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon you. (Psalms 86:5)
God is FAITHFUL! - God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. (1 Corinthians 1:9)
God is PRESENT! - So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
As you leave here today my prayer is that you have been encouraged, reminded and can hear God whispering the same words He said to me, "Just trust me." Friend, I don't know what challenge you are facing or the struggle you're in, but I do know the One who is with you and I believe He can provide whatever you need. Seek Him, trust Him and obey Him!! Then pray for me as I do the same!!