Have you ever been in that place where things just don't seem right? Like you're going thru the motions of life, merely surviving the day rather than thriving? You're not drowning in a pit of depression but your life isn't full of joy either?
I feel like I've been there...not constantly down, but not consistently up either. Life will always be full of things that can bring us down (cancer, kids who misbehave, relationship struggles), but it also offers reasons to smile (a hug, a call from a friend, family who loves you, a sunny day...).
So awhile back I thought, "Why have I been on this roller coaster ride of emotions? Up then down rather than the steady path I'd been on." Honestly at first I couldn't pin point the answer to my question, but in time God has revealed it to me.
The other day I found myself reading Psalm 51 as I worked on a Bible study, initially I focused on the verse I'd circled - "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Verse 17) In the past these words have always reminded me that more than the things I do, God wants me - a heart that is willing and available.
But that night as I worked thru my study, verse 10 is the one that stuck with me - "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." These words became my prayer...I needed to be renewed and knew God was the only One who could do it.
Then the next morning during family devotions I found myself reading this same Psalm aloud and again verse 10 along with 11 and 12 caught my attention and became my prayer. Lord, "do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
He's continued His work and has started to answer my prayer. Words from Isaiah 1:18 jumped off the page of my morning devo book, “Come now, let us reason together,” says the Lord. I read those words and thought, "Yes...reason with the Lord, why didn't I think of that?!?!"
Well reasoning with Him didn't last long...instead it became time to listen to Him - the verse continues, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."
I read those words and Psalm 51 came back to mind. David wrote those words, ones that expressed his need of renewal and his desire for restoration, but he also wrote the words in verses one thru nine. The ones that convey his sin. And friend, they also convey mine.
David wrote these words after committing adultery and thankfully that is where our comparison stops. I'm not confessing that sin to you today, but I'll admit: I've sinned and as I've processed thru all of this the last few days I realize I've disobeyed.
As a parent, I know the pain a disobedient child can create, but I also appreciate what takes place when my little ones confess. Friend, I'm reminded God is a parent as well; my parent, One who appreciates me admitting when I'm wrong and confessing when I've sinned. One who is glorified when I do what is right.
Isaiah 1:19-20 continues, "If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land; but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.' For the mouth of the Lord has spoken." In language my children will understand - The Lord will bless our obedience and discipline us for our disobedience. Friend, you and I have a choice to make...to obey or not to obey? And when we choose the later, which if we're honest we do more often than we'd like to admit, we have another choice - to confess or not to confess?
From my experience that is an important choice to make...one that will truly make things right!