A Heavy Heart

Last night while I was leading our women's Bible study, I missed a call from my sister-in-law. After returning home, connecting with my husband and getting the kids to bed I called her back. It was then she asked if I remembered the principal from my time at North Fayette; I said, "Yes, Mr. Haught." And then she went on to tell me he had taken his own life.

I was in shock, just like anytime I hear news like this. Thoughts went to his wife and family. Then to fellow c0-workers and all the students he had led through the years. With every thought that came to mind, my heart grew heavier. Situations like this are so hard to understand and really there is no answer to the question, "Why?"

So why not focus on the question that has beneficial results, "What now?" As God shifted my thinking I was reminded that we are all in need of hope. Not wishful thinking, but hope that really makes a difference, hope that only God can give. I don't know where Mr. Haught was spiritually, but regardless of the strength of our faith or lack of it, life and its circumstances can bring us down. We must constantly seek God, draw closer to Him and share that hope with others.

As I grieved for all those who knew Mr. Haught, God took my thoughts a step farther and I shared with my husband, "11 years ago next month, people could have easily been making those same calls about me." You see back in Sept. of '99, my second year as a junior high math teacher and Mr. Haught's first year as principal, I was struggling with depression. At the time I had religion, but no relationship. I was hurting, lonely and on the brink of giving up. It hurts me to think about how close I was to ending it all, but I'm so thankful God intervened and has me where I am today. As my husband responded last night, "Praise God."

So back to the question, "What now?" When our hearts are heavy with grief, when things happen that we don't understand and life is hard, "what now?" We seek HIM, trust HIM and praise HIM. For me, God is using this to remind me; to remind me of what HE's done in my life, to remind me that we never fully know what's going on in another's life and to remind that there's always a need to shine HIS light in a world that is dark.

Friends, please join me today in lifting the family and friends of Ken Haught today. Only God can provide what they truly need in a time like this and in the days ahead. Thank you.